The Mastermind Job
by gibbsrossi
Summary: Nate is hiding a secret from Sophie. Can she figure it out, and when Nate dissappears can she and the rest of the Leverage family find him, and when they do, how will she and the rest of the Leverage crew cope with what Nate was hiding from them.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was late; Sophie was away visiting with Tara. She had left on the impromptu trip and Nate was alone in their house. He sat in his study with a glass of whiskey in his hand musing over how his life had changed and how it was about to change again. His expression darkened at that thought and he took a sip of the whiskey, contemplating just downing the entire bottle seated on the table in front of him.

It had been nine months since he had walked away from Leverage Incorporated, taking Sophie with him. It had been eight months since he had made her his wife. They had spent six months honeymooning, traveling around the world. He smiled as he thought about the trip. They had revisited the places they had been together so many years ago, together yet apart then. It had been a wonderful trip, full of memories and recounting of adventures shared. They had visited Prague, Damascus and Paris. They had gone to the museums, the exhibitions and shows. He could not remember when last he had been so very happy and contented. The months had flown by quickly. When it was time to end though, to head back home, they had made the joint decision that they would make their home in Portland. Sophie had her theatre, Nate had his boat, besides which, LA held too many memories for Nate and Boston wasn't home anymore. Neither one of them wanted to admit that they did not want to be far from the rest of their family, although that was one of the deciding factors in their decision. He had been happy, blissfully so, that was until two weeks ago.

Family, Nate thought taking another sip of his whiskey. Who would have thought a little over six years ago that he would have a family again? Yet here he was married to the woman he had loved for years, and who loved him as much as he did her. When Sam had died, he had told himself that he would never allow himself to get that close to anybody again. He could not risk it, losing again. He should never have allowed it but this had snuck up on him. The first year they were together working as a team, he had not really been there, he had been drunk most of the time and to be honest, he had not seen it as long term. He was sure that the team would break up, in fact, he would dare them to leave, goad them into going, but they never did. They had stuck by him even though he was a drunken bastard most of the time. They had stuck by him through Kadjic and the fiasco with him going to prison, through the blackmail and taking down Damien Moreau, through his Dad's death and Victor Dubenich, through everything. Why they stayed, why they had grown into a family, considering the type of people they were, all of them, him included, he could still not for the life of him figure out. Whatever the reason was, he was glad they had, at least until now, he thought bitterly, now he wished that he had driven them away then.

His thoughts took a dark turn again and he scowled as he downed the remaining amber liquid in his glass. He should not be drinking and he knew it but he did not care. It seemed to him that every time he managed to be happy, something would come and destroy that happiness. It was simple, Nathan Ford did not deserve happiness, he did not deserve a family and he was just fooling himself to think he did. Nate leaned over and took the now half-empty bottle of whiskey and poured himself another glass full. It had been a long time since he had drank this much and he could feel the effects of the liquor on him. Sophie would definitely not approve of his behaviour. Then he smiled sadly to himself as he gulped down half of the newly poured glass, he was entitled to drink. He had to walk away from them, from Sophie, from his family and it was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He had to do it, for them. It was not that he did not trust them, oh no, on the contrary; he trusted them more than he had ever trusted anybody in his life. He trusted them with his life, trusted her with his life and more. But this he did not trust them with. He had to make this decision for them because he knew they would make the wrong one. She would make the wrong one. He could not allow them to do that, he could not allow them to sacrifice their lives for him; he was not worth that, he never had been. This was his cross to bear and he would carry it alone. The anger rose up in him, the anger and the despair of the situation. He finished the last of the alcohol in the glass and then with a force borne of frustration and anger and remorse and fear and emotions he could not even put a name too he threw the glass across the room. It hit the wall and shattered into pieces. Nate stared at the fragments and grabbed the bottle, putting it too his lips he allowed the liquid to flow feeling the burn in his throat as the whiskey slid down, along with the burn of the tears that pricked his eyes.

Once the bottle was empty he contemplated getting another one, but he was tired. No, he was exhausted and he could not get himself to rise and walk to the kitchen. He was well on his way to being drunk, he could not handle as much liquor as he used to he thought ruefully. It had been a long day and he was sure that the emotional turmoil it had brought about was adding to his exhaustion. He had just about convinced himself to get more alcohol when his phone rang startling him slightly. He looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Sophie. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes briefly before answering.

"Hey…" He said not trying to hide the fact that he was drunk.

"Hey yourself..." Sophie said immediately noting the tone of his voice and the slight slur in his speech.

"You been having a good time with Tara?"

"Yes…but I miss you." Sophie said trying to keep the concern out of her voice.

"Yeah..." Nate said softly. He missed her too, missed her so damn much it hurt he thought, but he was not going to say that.

"I'm coming home day after tomorrow, Tara has to cut the trip short she got a job and she can't turn it down."

"Really…that's…that's great…" He stuttered

"Nate…are you alright?" Sophie said hearing in his voice that he had been drinking. Something had been going on for the last two weeks; she had not said anything because trying to get information out of Nate if he did not want to give was impossible, even for her. It also usually led to a fight and she had avoided that. But now she was really worried.

"Yes…yes of course…I just miss you is all."

There was a slight pause as Sophie contemplated calling Nate on the lie. She decided against it though. This was not something she wanted to tackle over the phone. There was obviously something seriously wrong and the sooner she got home the better.

"Ok…" She said softly. "I'll be home soon…I love you Nate."

"I Love you too sweetheart, so very much." Nate said with such profound sorrow that it made Sophie gasp. "Sleep well darling."

"I will…you too…" Sophie said trying to suppress the horrible feeling she had in her gut and keeping her voice gentle. "Good night my love."

"'Night." Nate said and then dropped the line.

Sophie was staring at the phone wondering just what was going on with Nate when Tara walked in.

"Sophie…" Tara said coming into the room. "Is everything alright?"

"No…" Sophie said automatically. Everything was definitely not 'all right', her instincts were screaming at her that she had to get back to Nate and she had to do it as soon as possible. "I need to go."

"Sophie…"

"I don't know Tara, but something is wrong. I can't explain it but I need to get back home." Sophie said now in a near panic, why was Nate drinking, why did he sound so sad…what the hell was going on, what could have changed in the last few weeks to bring on this behaviour from him. She had not heard Nate speak with such sadness and even a hint of hopelessness since that terrible time when Dubenich had almost cost them everything. She did not know what was going on but she was damn well going to find out she thought.

"Ok, well why don't you go pack and I'll get you a flight out of here." Tara said. She could see that whatever had happened with Nate on the phone had upset her friend and the only way to help her was to get her home as soon as possible. She could see the distress on her friends face and she wasted no time in making the arrangements for Sophie to get home.

Sophie and Tara arrived at the airport and hour later. Tara had managed to get her on a flight that would get her back to Portland in the early hours of the following morning. Tara walked Sophie to the departure gate and then gave her friend a hug goodbye telling her to call if she needed her, before watching her walk away. She hopped that it was not as serious as Sophie thought it was and that everything would be sorted out once Sophie got home. Though, knowing Nate as she did, she would not be surprised if the man had gotten himself into some sort of trouble.

Sophie boarded the plane and took her seat. She could not get rid of the feeling that something was about to happen, something bad. She hoped that it was just her imagination, but she had heard something in Nate's voice that told her this was not trivial, whatever was happening was serious. Nate had been drinking very little, he had not stopped completely and she had not asked him to. But he did not binge, not even during the times of year when it was hardest for him. Instead he talked to her, he got through Sam's birthday and the day he died, he got through it with her, by sharing it with her. He had opened up to her, shared with her his pain, instead of hiding it away inside a bottle. That was until two weeks ago. Whatever had happened then had changed everything. He was pushing her away, shutting her out and had been for the last two weeks why? Why was he drunk, what could have happened to cause this change in him? So many questions swam in her mind as she stared out into the darkness of the night.

It was almost four in the morning when Sophie arrived home. She unlocked the door and slipped into the house quietly. She did not want to wake Nate if he was sleeping. Turning on the light she stopped dead in her tracks. Nate was lying passed out on the sofa, a half-empty bottle of whiskey cradled in his arm. She dropped her bags and made her way to his side.

"Oh Nate...what happened?" She asked tears welling in her eyes. Gently she removed the bottle from his arm and put it down on the table.

Sophie pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. She ran her hand through his hair and he stirred slightly but did not wake. She knew she should be angry with him but all she felt was trepidation. Nate would not do this unless something terrible had happened. Her heart clenched in fear as she wondered what it was that had driven him back to the bottle on this scale, not to mention the fact that he had been gradually withdrawing from her, slowly but definitely shutting her out over the last two weeks. What the hell could have happened she thought to herself as she watched him sleep?

"Whatever it is Nate, whatever it is we will get through it…" She said kissing him gently on the forehead.

**OK well there it is the start of my new story. I hope you are all going to enjoy it. Please don't forget to review, I look forward to reading each and every one of them.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nate woke to find light streaming into the room and the aroma of coffee brewing. It took him a moment to get his bearings. He was on the sofa and he had a blanket draped over him. How had that happened he wondered. He ran a hand over his face trying to piece together the fragments of his memory from last night.

"Morning…" Sophie said coming to stand in front of him with a steaming mug of coffee.

Nate's heart sank at the sound of her voice. She had come home. Shit, what did he do now? His plan had been to leave her a note and to just take off… she said she was only coming home later, he had it all planned. Damn…

"Morning." He said accepting the cup and sitting back on the sofa. "You said you were only going to come home day after tomorrow."

"That was yesterday so technicaly I was going to come home tomorrow not the day after." Sophie said hoping to elicit a smile from her quip but got nothing. "I decided to come home now."

"Why?"

"Why?" Sophie asked raising her eyebrow at him and looking at him with a look that said 'I come home to find you passed out drunk on the sofa and you have the gall to ask me why.' "Because I missed you of course." Is what she said.

"Sophie…" Nate said his eyes locking with hers.

"What happened Nate? Talk to me." Sophie said sitting down next to him.

"There is nothing to say." Nate said stoically.

"Nothing to say. Nate, I come home to…" She stopped herself from exploding and then reached out to place her hand on his arm. "Please tell me what's wrong." She said softly.

"Nothing is wrong Sophie. I'm an alcoholic remember? I drink, that's what I do." Nate said harshly, more harshly than he meant to.

"No. No that's not what you do Nate. Talk to me dammit…why won't you tell me what's going on, why are you acting like this? Something happened and you are going to tell me what." Sophie said now starting to lose her patience with him and feeling the dread start to consume her. Whatever it was she had to know, they could deal with it if he just talked to her.

"Nothing is damn well wrong Sophie. Just get off my back ok. I felt like drinking last night and that's what I did. You don't like it, well tough." Nate said slamming the coffee cup down on the table and spilling half the contents in the process. "I'm going to get cleaned up." He said standing up and turning his back on her so that she could not see the pain in his eyes or the sadness on his face.

"Fine…but I will be here when you are done and then mister we are going to talk." Sophie said firmly.

Nate stopped briefly at her words then entered the bedroom slamming the door behind him. He stood leaning against the door for a few minutes his head spinning. He had a headache from hell, he was not used to being hung over anymore. He had seen the hurt in Sophie's eyes and the concern and it was tearing his heart out. He sighed heavily and shook his head. This is what he had to do he told himself softly, it is for her own good. An hour later he emerged from the room to find Sophie had cleaned up the living area and set the table for breakfast. Nate watched her as she busied herself getting the meal finished. Then he walked into the kitchen and poured himself another coffee, adding a liberal dash of whiskey from the bottle he retrieved from the cupboard. What he really wanted to do was grab her and tell her that he loved her more than life itself, but instead he ignored her, walking out of the kitchen and into the dining and living area. Sophie watched him but said nothing. She dished up their meal and carried it to the table.

"Let's eat." Sophie said her voice neutral.

"Sophie…"

"Just sit down and eat your breakfast Nate." Sophie said softly.

"I'm not really hungry."

"I'm not surprised."

"Yeah well…" Nate said dropping his eyes to the floor in shame.

"Nate, please just try to eat something…for me?" She asked.

"I'm not hungry Sophie." Nate said walking away and sitting down on the sofa. He reached for the remote control and flipped on the television.

"Don't you dare walk away from me Nate..." Sophie said following him into the living room. She grabbed the remote out of his hand and turned the television off. "Just what the hell is going on?" She shouted at him her anger and fear now spilling over.

"Nothing is going on Sophie. I drink, like I said. You went into this eyes wide open remember?" Nate said not looking at her as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Yes I went into this eyes wide open Nate, but you asked me to marry you remember. You asked me."

"Yes I did…but you conned me into this relationship in the first place, I told you I didn't want one then…"

"Don't you dare…don't you dare Nate." Sophie said as she fought back the tears that threatened.

"I'm sorry…I'm…Sophie…I, maybe I was wrong to think this could work…maybe I just was not ready…"

"What are you saying?" Sophie asked taken aback by the turn of the conversation. Was he seriously saying he had made a mistake in marrying her?

"I mean…I mean I think I need to get away for a while." Nate said dipping his head and averting his gaze from her. "I'm going to go out on the boat for a month or so…"

"I don't believe it." Sophie said incredulously. Where was this coming from? Why was he doing this?

"Look Sophie I just need some space, I need some time alright…I just need to get away." Nate said standing up and walking to the door, grabbing his keys as he went.

"And just where do you think you are going?" She asked watching him walk away from her again.

"To the boat…I already packed a few things…I…I really am sorry Sophie." Nate said before walking out the door and closing it behind him leaving Sophie to stare after him in complete confusion and abject fear.

Sophie sat staring at the closed door for a few minutes still unable to believe that Nate had just walked out. Then she felt the tears come, a flood of them that she could not stop. She did not know how long she sat just sobbing. Then she stopped. Nate would never do this. He was not that type of man. So why was he doing this? There must be a reason. He was happy, she knew he was, they were happy. No there had to be a reason…

"Oh my God…" She said as she realised what Nate was doing. He was driving her away and the only reason he would do that was to protect her. He must think the only way to protect her is to put distance between himself and her. "What have you gotten yourself into Nate…or who is after you, us?" She said to herself. It was the only thing that made any sense. "Well you are not going to do this Nate, I'm on to you and you are NOT going to do this." She said pulling out her phone.

"Sophie…what can I do for you today?" Eliot asked his voice light and friendly. He had not heard from either her or Nate for a few weeks and was happy to hear her voice.

"Eliot…I…"

"Sophie what's wrong." Eliot immediately asked hearing the emotion in the woman's voice.

"I need to see you…all of you." Sophie said sniffing back her tears.

"Sophie."

"Please Eliot, just get Parker and Hardison and I'll see you guys in half an hour alright?"

"We'll be here." Eliot said softly.

"Thank you." Sophie said then hung up the phone. She grabbed her bag and her keys and left the house. One way or another she was going to find out what was going on with Nate, and Eliot, Parker and Hardison were going to help her.

**Thank you all so very much for the reviews. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter too. What do you think is going on with Nate? What or who is he trying to protect Sophie from by driving her away? What do you think the others are going to say when they hear her story?**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sophie arrived at Leverage International Head Quarters exactly half an hour after speaking with Eliot to find all three of them waiting for her.

"Sophie, what's going on?" Eliot asked as she entered the room. He could see she had been crying and that she was exhausted.

"Let's sit down." Sophie said walking to the sofa's in the front of the room.

Once they were all seated, each of them looked at her expectantly.

"Something is going on with Nate…" Sophie said. "I don't know what it is but I think he is in trouble, I think he is in trouble and he is trying to keep me out of it."

"Why…what's happened?" Eliot asked. Knowing Nate, he probably was in trouble, he seemed to be a magnet for trouble, and if he was trying to keep Sophie out of it then it was serious trouble.

"I found him passed out drunk this morning."

"You what…" Parker blurted out. "But Nate doesn't drink like that anymore..." She said confused.

"He told me he had to get away, that he needed space, time away from me." Sophie continued tears welling again despite the fact that she knew it was a lie, she knew it when he had said it and she knew it now, but it still stung.

"No way man…" Hardison said trying to wrap his mind around what Sophie was saying.

Sophie looked at them and saw the disbelief on their faces. She knew exactly how they felt.

"I know Nate can be a bastard Sophie. But I also know that he loves you more than anything, he would never walk away from you, not ever." Eliot said looking at her intently.

"No he wouldn't. But he is the type of man who would walk away from me if he thought that was the best thing for me, even if it killed him to do it."

"But what would make him do that, we've been through so much…handled so much…I don't understand why he would rather walk away than ask for help?" Parker said. "Doesn't he trust us to be there for him, no matter what, even after everything?" Parker said with a pout.

"He would do it Parker to protect me...to protect any one of us and you all know that." Sophie said. "I do not know from what he is protecting me from but if he is doing this then it must be serious. I think Nate is in real danger and I think that he thinks that he could be putting me in danger too. It is the only thing that makes sense."

"Sophie, from the top..." Eliot said simply. If they were going to figure this out, they needed to know just what had been going on in Nate's life to bring this situation about, what had caused him to react in this way.

Sophie looked at Eliot and nodding she cast her mind back and started to tell them what she knew.

"It all started about two weeks ago. I thought he was just a little down, bored really. I mean, Nate is not one to sit around and do nothing; he needs to exercise that brain of his. I tried to get him involved in helping me with my play…I even suggested he ask you guys if he could help you on any of your jobs."

"He didn't…" Eliot said looking at the other two for confirmation. He had not seen or spoken to Nate in more than two weeks, not since they had gotten back from honeymoon, and he had seemed fine then. Correction Eliot thought, he had been really happy, so what the hell had changed?

"Right..." Sophie said. She had expected as much. "Anyway, I tried to talk to him about it but…with the theatre and everything I was busy and he seemed happy…well I knew something was wrong but I thought he would find something eventually that would occupy him…and it seems he did, just…Oh why didn't I pay more attention to him, why didn't I see this sooner?" Sophie said softly.

"Did anything happen two weeks ago…do you remember anything happening, anything he said, anybody he met with?" Eliot asked.

"But if he was in trouble, and he didn't want to get you involved, why wouldn't he come to us?" Hardison asked. "I mean Parker's right…he knows that we would do anything for him…"

"Maybe that's the problem, he knows we would do anything for him and he doesn't want us involved either." Parker said. She did not like the thought, and she resented the fact that Nate would not come to them, but it seemed to her, if what Sophie was saying was right that it was the only logical explanation, he wanted to protect them too, from whatever was going on.

"The stupid son of a…" Eliot hissed. He did not like this. He was the protector, whether Nate and Sophie were or were not with them working on jobs, they were still his family. Nate had no right to go off on his own doing dangerous things without telling him, or asking him for help.

"The problem is, how do we find out what he's up to?" Parker asked. She did not care why Nate was doing what he was, just that he was. She was only interested in finding out what Nate was doing and how they could help him.

"We keep tabs on him. We watch him, we listen to him…" Hardison said.

"We investigate everybody who might come after him, we make sure we have all bases covered, and we keep him safe from whoever is after him." Eliot added.

"We make sure we are there when whatever it is he expecting to happen happens." Parker continued.

"We first have to find him." Sophie said softly.

"We will." Hardison said emphatically. He would use every bit of technology at his disposal and he would find Nate of that he was sure.

Sophie nodded as Hardison spoke, as much as she did not like it, and as much as she knew Nate would really hate them prying in such a way, it was better than leaving him to his own devices. He was obviously in over his head and needed help. He was going to get it whether he liked it or not.

"Ok so let's get moving. Parker and I will go down to the docks…" Eliot said looking at Sophie. "He said he was going to take the boat out right?"

Sophie nodded in response. She did not think they would find him there though. She hoped he had not taken the boat out though because then they would never find him.

"Hardison…" Eliot said turning to the Hacker.

"I'll cover everything else, CCTV, Traffic Cams, everything…" Hardison finished for him "I'll start with the CCTV I put up for security in your building and take if from there. I'll also start tracking the movements of some of the guys we have taken down...Sophie you can help with that, you would know which ones might be inclined towards revenge of some kind." Hardison said to Sophie then putting his arm around her he smiled slightly. "We'll find him Sophie and we'll be there when he needs us."

"Thanks guys…" Sophie said tearing up again.

"He's family. We're a family. That is obviously a lesson Nate did not learn well enough over the last six years..." Eliot said quietly with the promise that Nate would learn that lesson this time and Eliot was going to teach it to him in no uncertain way in his voice. "Let's go find us a Nate shall we…" He said then headed out the door with Parker close on his heels.

**Thanks again for all the reviews, they are greatly appreciated. Where do you think Nate is? Do you think they are going to find him? Please don't forget to leave your comments, thoughts, and speculation for me, I love to get your feedback.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Sophie paced up and down as Hardison did his search, she had given him the names of the previous marks she thought could have come after Nate, along with the names of men Nate had taken down during his days with IYS.

"So do we know where he is yet?" Sophie asked for the umpteenth time.

"Sophie, his phone and his watch are at your place and we know he isn't, he must have left them there because he knew that you would come to us…I lost him after he left the apartment and he was careful of all the traffic cams around…So…" Hardison sighed heavily. "No I don't know where he is." He admitted.

"We'll find him, he has to turn up somewhere..." Eliot's voice came over the coms.

"He's not on the boat, he's not in the apartment, Hardison can't find him on any camera's…" Sophie said her voice showing her desperation.

"Ok but who said he was telling the truth about going out on the boat. Maybe that was just…I don't know just a cover."

"Yeah Hardison could be but then we know Nate and he knows us…he would expect us to check the boat."

"He doesn't know I came to you guys though."

"Sophie….of course he knows if you were worried about him you would come to us." Parker said in an exasperated voice.

"Yeah Sophie... So why would he lie to you? I mean he knows how we work, he knows we'll check everywhere, why give you a place to start?"

"Maybe he doesn't think I would look for him. Maybe he thinks I would just…" Sophie said and then shook her head as she spoke. "No you are right, he would know I would go looking for him and that I would ask you guys to help if I thought there was something wrong."

"Hey guys…" Parker said watching a young man climb onto Nate's boat. "Looks like Nate's got a visitor."

"Ok we see him." Hardison said as he and Sophie watched the man through the hidden camera's that Parker had just planted on the boat.

"What's he doing?" Sophie asked as she watched the young man board the boat. "He doesn't look like he is there to steal…"

"I don't know, I think he is planning to take the boat out." Hardison said as they watched the young man drop the bag he brought and then make his way back onto the deck. Then there was a swift movement and the man dropped to the floor with Parker standing over him with a taser in her hands and smiling into the camera.

"Dammit Parker I told you to hold off…" Eliot said as he stepped on board the boat just as the man was coming back to his senses. Then he grabbed the man by the collar and pulled him to his feet.

"Where is Nate…" He growled at the man.

"What…what is going on here man…" The man said his eyes and voice full of fear for Eliot.

"Where is Nate…" Eliot growled menacingly shaking the man vigorously.

"Nate? I don't know who you talking about man…please man…" The young man said fearfully.

"Nathan Ford, the man whose boat you were about to steal." Parker said her voice cold and emotionless.

"No…no man I wasn't going to steal it man…" The man said quickly his voice showing his panic at the way Eliot was looking at him. "I swear man, this guy told me it was his boat, he said I should take it out for a run…I swear man."

"Why would he let you take his boat out?" Eliot hissed at him tightening the hold he had on him.

"I don't know man, he gave me a thousand dollars and told me to take the boat out and sail it to Boston and dock it there…that's all I know man…" He said. Eliot stared at the man and then pushed him away letting go of his collar.

"How long were you supposed to take the boat out for?" Eliot asked him letting his grip on the youngster loosen.

"He said I should take it out for a month, then dock her in Boston and if I hadn't heard from him to take the key and everything to this lawyer guy…" He said starting to relax as he realised that Eliot believed his story and was not going to kill him.

"What 'lawyer guy'?" Eliot asked stepping back from the man now. The youngster wasn't lying.

"I don't know some…." He pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed it to Eliot. "That's him…"

Eliot took the paper and read it. He did not recognise the man's name or the law firm he was with, but the writing was definitely Nate's scrawl.

"Why would Nate do that?" Hardison asked.

"Don't be an idiot Hardison. Like we said, Nate would know that Sophie would come to us and we would check the boat. If it was out we would assume that Nate had done what he told Sophie he was going to do." Parker said.

"Right…and it would have worked too. I suppose Nate didn't count on Sophie contacting us so soon and us getting here before this guy had a chance to take the boat out."

"That's a lot of trouble to keep us off his trail…" Eliot said softly his anger with Nate's actions starting to boil again. "What the hell had Nate gotten himself into?"

"More importantly where do we look now, he could be anywhere." Sophie said softly.

"I don't know but we better find him." Eliot said. "You can go." Eliot said to the young man Nate had hired to take the boat out and as the words had left his mouth the man hightailed it off the boat taking his bag with him.

"What now?" Parker said as she watched the man almost run up the docks without looking back at them.

"Now we go back to the offices and Hardison does his thing." Eliot said walking off the boat with Parker following. Their only hope now was that Hardison would be able to find Nate for them.

"I'm on it." Hardison said working furiously on his laptop.

Eliot and Parker walked back into the Leverage offices forty minutes later and found Hardison still working at his computers tracking traffic cams and scanning every other database he could think of that might give them a lead on Nate, airports, train stations. He also had a program checking hotels and motels in case Nate had checked in somewhere either under his own name, which was doubtful or one of his aliases. He was also checking morgues and hospitals, although he did not mention that to Sophie when telling her what he was doing.

"Anything…?" Eliot asked as they entered the room.

"Not yet…but if he checks in anywhere, or tried to catch a plane, or a train or anything I'll pick him up…" Hardison told him.

"What if he is using a name we don't know?" Parker asked.

"I'm running facial recognition too on all camera's around, it's going to take time but we will find him." Hardison said although he knew it was a long shot and it could take more than a little time to find Nate. If they even did. Nate was somebody who could make himself disappear if he wanted to.

"Ok Sophie, while Hardison is doing that shall we go over the last two weeks again, maybe you missed something." Eliot said seeing the woman was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and wanting to keep her busy with something while they searched for Nate.

"Ok…but I don't think I missed anything Eliot…" Sophie said knowing he was only trying to keep her busy and actually quite grateful for it. The thought of Nate out there on his own, probably in mortal danger was making her crazy. Damn the man, why was he so stubborn, why couldn't he just ask for help? Why didn't he just ask her or if not her Eliot or any one of the others…damn him…

"Sophie…" Eliot said pulling her out of her thoughts as he handed her a shot of whiskey and sat down beside her on the sofa. "Let's go through it again ok…"

"Ok…" Sophie said softly gratefully downing the amber liquid.

"Hardison…" Parker suddenly said as she looked over at the Hacker and saw that he had lost all colour in his face as he stared at his computer screen. "Hardison what is it…?" She asked more urgently.

"I…I found him…" Hardison said softly looking up at them. "You're not going to like this…" He said as he stared at the information that his web crawlers had unearthed.

**Ok my first cliff hanger of the story…So where do you think Nate is and why is Hardison so affected by the information he is getting? I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for all the reviews and please let me know your thoughts on this chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Nate walked away from Sophie closing the door as he left. He stood leaning against the door with his eyes closed for a few seconds as if he could not decide if he was doing the right thing. Then he shook his head sadly and walked away. Sophie coming back so soon had forced him to do his dirty work face to face, something he had thought he would be able to avoid when she had decided to go to see Tara. He had not been able to believe his luck at the timing of the visit when he had first heard about it. It was going to save him and her so much grief, well he thought, if he had to be honest it was only going to save him some grief, it would have allowed him to take the cowards' way out by leaving her a note. Then she had come back early and he was sure it was because she sensed something was wrong. He knew she had been aware of a change in him in the last few weeks, she had even asked about it, but she had also been so busy with the theatre that she had never really delved too deeply, something he was grateful for, finding him passed out drunk had not helped to allay her fears he was sure. In his defence though, he had not thought she would be home so soon, well to be fair he had not thought much of anything, he was just plain drunk last night. Still he wished he had been able to avoid the whole thing. He had never been good with emotional confrontations and he hated having to lie to Sophie to her face, but now it was done and his course was set. He had told the woman he loved more than life itself that he was regretting marrying her, that he needed to go away, away from her, and the hurt and confusion on her face would stay with him for a long time…well maybe not that long…he thought ruefully.

He was very aware that Sophie would come looking for him but he was sure after their confrontation this morning that she would need some time to gather her thoughts, to get over what he had done to her with his harsh words, then she would probably go to Eliot and the others for help. Nate was a Mastermind though, a planner, and he had had some time to put his plans in place, put his affairs in order as it were and he had. He was sure he had covered all his bases. He was well aware that Hardison had placed hidden cameras around their house for security purposes. They had retired from the job yes, but they knew that their enemies were many and would not care about a little detail like that. There was always a chance of one of the powerful, rich men they had taken down over the years coming after them for revenge. He was also aware that Hardison still monitored them through tracking devices planted long ago in watches and various other items. His phone of course would be the easiest for the Hacker to track. He had left them, everything that he thought Hardison would be able to trace he had left behind. He also knew Hardison's abilities, maybe better than the Hacker knew himself, so he was aware of every traffic camera, every ATM camera in the area, he had mapped them out, made sure that he could avoid being followed and that he would effectively disappear off the radar. Then there was the lie he had told about taking the boat out. That too had been part of the plan from the beginning. It was the perfect cover for his being away for an extended period. He had arranged for a young man to take the boat out and sail it to Boston, where he had hired a berth under an assumed name, one that Hardison did not know. When they found the boat gone, they would believe what he had told Sophie was true, and they would focus their attention on locating the boat and that would keep Hardison from looking elsewhere.

Nate sighed deeply as he contemplated the complicated web of deceit he had spun. It would all be worth it though in the end, either way, and if all went well, if the worst did not happen, he would contact the youngster and sail the boat back to Portland afterwards. If not, then he had left instructions on where to drop off the keys to the boat in Boston. He had made his arrangements with an old friend of his, an attorney who would deal with everything. He had trusted Mark with his secret, and made all the necessary arrangements should the events that were about to unfold not be favourable. There were three scenarios now. One, all could go well and he would make his way back to Portland to face the wrath of Sophie and the others, they would never have to know what had really happened and over time, things would go back to normal. Two he could die. Mark would know what to do in that event. It was the third scenario that really scared him. Some things were worse than death, especially for a man like him. The mere thought of what could happen had nearly made him decline to put up a fight, but he knew he had to, he knew he wanted to, even if there was only a small hope of success, he had to try. He had to because he wanted nothing more than to get back to Sophie, to his family and to his life. Six or so years ago, he probably would have welcomed what was happening, but now…now he had something to live for, to fight for again, so despite his fears, and they were many and almost overwhelming, he had decided on this course of action. Anyway, Mark had his instruction in that event as well, so Nate was good to go.

It was almost twelve noon when he found himself standing outside the building staring at it with trepidation. All he wanted to do right then was to drink, just walk away to the nearest bar and drink and forget that this was happening to him. He wished she was with him, he wanted her there so badly, but he knew he had done the right thing. If this did not go well and God knows the likelihood of it going well was maybe twenty percent, it was better she was not here. It was better none of them were, they could not help him and it would only cause them pain. They did not need to be part of this whole mess. He was doing the right thing by keeping them out of it. They of course would not see it that way. If they found out what he had done, was doing without them, without telling them, then he was not sure that they would ever forgive him, but that was a chance he was willing to take, if it spared them any of what he knew the possible consequences of things not going well would be. At least that was how he saw it. It would not be how they saw it, but they would not be able to see past what was happening in the now and look to the future, he had to do that for them. He had to protect them from what would come, he had to spare them that kind of misery and despair and….well he just had to protect them from what could happen that was that. He was not willing to be the reason for their suffering, not in any way shape or form. They had all had shitty lives before, and now they were a family, with hope for the future, he was not going to take that future away from them. He would not allow them to give up their lives for him. Nate smiled sadly to himself…was he trying to convince himself he was doing the right thing when he knew that they would be furious at him for doing this alone. They would think he did not trust them to stand by him through this ordeal and it would hurt them tremendously if they ever did find out, but still, he was sure he was doing the right thing, he was positive he was, and besides it was too late now. He drew in a deep breath and started walking towards the building picking up pace as he went, there was no turning back now.

**What is Nate doing, where is he going and why would having any of the others with him put them in any kind of danger? Thank you all so much for the reviews, I am glad you are enjoying the story. Please let me know what you think about this chapter and the direction of the story. Any and all speculation as to what is going on is also more than welcome.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

They congregated outside the door to the room they knew Nate was in. Hardison had filled them in on what was going, or at least on the few details he had been able to glean from the records he could hack, as they sped towards the hospital. The information was limited and they did not know exactly what was going on, except that Nate had been admitted to Portland General and that he was scheduled for a craniotomy in the morning.

"Let me go in first." Sophie said to them.

She could see each one of them was angry with Nate. Angry with him for what he was doing and she understood that, she was angry with him too, but overriding that anger was fear and concern for him. She could also see they too were frightened. They had been expecting something else. They had been expecting to be able to save Nate from whatever danger the Mastermind had managed to get himself into, but this. They had no control over this and they did not really know the full picture, how bad was it really? It was the not knowing or understanding exactly what was going on that was killing them.

Parker had not spoken a word since Hardison had blurted out what he had found. Her eyes had turned sad and her pout was now a permanent fixture on her face. Nate was more than a friend, more than a mentor to her. He was the man who had given her a life, taught her how to be able to live in the real world, given her a family and friends, but most importantly given her his complete trust. He had trusted her enough to ask her to carry on his legacy, and that had meant the world to her. Now he had not trusted her to be there for him, not trusted her to stand by him…he had taken away the trust he had given her and it was devastating to her.

"Ok…" Eliot said nodding slightly. It was best that Sophie went in to see him first, after all she was his wife and his doing this damn stupid idiotic thing was hurting her the most.

Eliot could understand what Nate was doing. He could understand it in a way, but it also scared him. If Nate thought it best to keep this from them then he could assume that Nate expected that he was not going to come through this unscathed. Probably he expected not to survive it at all and that was why he had not told them, he did not want them to have to go through that. He understood it because of what Nate had gone through with his child. But he did not understand why he felt so betrayed by it. Why he felt hurt that Nate would not let them, let him, be there for him through this. Nate would have been there for any one of them, he would have done it even if doing it would have caused him immeasurable suffering. Why would he think that they would not prefer that suffering rather than let him go through this alone? He had hinted to Nate before that he was the reason that he had not hit complete bottom in his life. Nate had saved him in so many ways. He had given him something he did not even know he wanted or needed. He owed him so much. Now the man had chosen to face who knows what…maybe even death…alone…and Eliot felt betrayed by that decision.

Hardison too had been silent since telling them about what he had learned about what was going on with Nate. Of all of them except maybe Sophie he felt the most hurt by this. Nate had always confided in him. Hardison had always been the one Nate relied on, counted on to have his back in things, to keep his secrets. Now he had gone off and done this. Deliberately cut him out of things. Hardison was also frightened beyond belief. Losing Nate was incomprehensible to him. Yes Nate had left Leverage, but he was still there, he was still the driving force behind all of their lives. He had changed them. He had molded them in to…not model citizens, but better than that. People who cared, cared about others and did something to help them. He just could not understand why Nate would not let them help him through this, even if it ended badly, he should have told them. They deserved to know, they deserved to be given the option of being with him when he needed them. Hardison would be here for him now, but he was not sure he could ever forgive Nate for this.

Sophie turned to the door and took a deep breath before opening it and entering. She closed the door softly behind her, her eyes fixed on the sleeping figure of Nate on the bed before her. She approached the bed and looked down at him. She reached out and touched his arm causing his eyes to flutter open.

"Sophie…" He said groggily as he saw her face in front of him. He was sure it was an hallucination though, there was no way Sophie was here.

"How could you Nate…" Sophie said with a sob.

"Sophie…I…what…what are you doing here…?" Nate said suddenly fully awake as the realization that this was not a hallucination hit him.

"How could you Nate, how dare you hide this from me?" Sophie said softly the betrayal in her voice evident.

"Sophie no…no you shouldn't be here…you don't need to be here." Nate said his heart sinking as he realized his plans had been thwarted. Sophie had found him, and if she had the others where here too and they knew.

"Nate, did you really think you could…why would you do this…why?" Sophie asked.

"You don't understand Sophie…" Nate said running his hand across his face slowly.

"Explain it to me Nate, make me understand. Make me understand why you would lie to me, why you would think that it was ok for you to do this, make me understand Nate because right now, I don't understand anything."

"You don't know, I couldn't let you go through…Sophie please I…"

"You were never going to tell me about this were you? You were going to go through everything alone and then what, come home and think that you could make everything alright, after what you said, after what you did. And what if you did not come home again, you were what…going to send somebody, a stranger, to tell me you were never coming home, that you had died alone in a hospital without…without your family to be here with you…make me understand how that would have been better…make me damn well understand Nate…" Sophie said her anger outweighing her fear right then.

"I did what I had too. You should have left well enough alone Sophie." Nate said his voice hard now. He did not want this. He did not want them here.

"Well too bad Nate if you did not want us here because here we are." Eliot said as he entered the room. He had been listening over the coms and he was damned if he was going to let Nate talk to Sophie as if she was at fault here. As if they were at fault.

Silence filled the room as the other two filed in and Nate stared at them taking in the hostile looks tempered by their fear.

"What do you know…?" Nate asked softly.

"That you are in the hospital and that tomorrow morning you are scheduled for a craniotomy." Hardison said his voice clearly displaying his feelings.

Nate stared at the Hacker. He was angry, no more than that he felt betrayed and Nate could hear it. Parker did not say anything she just stared at him with sad eyes that bored into him making him squirm slightly on the bed.

"I have a brain tumor." Nate said. He decided to give them the facts as straight forwardly and fully as he could. Then he would try to explain why he had made the decisions he had. "It is situated in a very sensitive part of the brain and tomorrow they will do surgery to try to remove it. This…" He said indicating the drip in his arm…"Is to help me get through withdrawal from alcohol, it is a chemical they use to clear all the alcohol from your system and to stop the side effects." Nate continued. "Now, there are three scenarios. Success, death or…" Nate paused.

"Or what…?" Eliot asked seeing the Mastermind falter in his explanation.

"Or one of the many possible consequences of the operation..."

"Like what…?" Sophie asked. She needed to know, they needed to know. Whatever happened from here they had to get Nate through this before they made him pay for his idiocy.

"Loss of memory, sight, speech…" Nate closed his eyes and continued to recite the possible effects of a failed surgery. "Total regression…I would not be able to do anything for myself, I would be completely incapacitated, unable to communicate or to even know who I am to know who YOU all are." He said emphasizing the word and trying to convey exactly what they would face if they stayed, and why he did not want that. "I would be completely dependent on care with no hope of recovery." He opened his eyes looked around the room. "Don't you see…don't you see that it is better if…"

"If what, that you go through this alone and then get taken care of by strangers and…Nate…oh my God Nate did you think that I would not want to be beside you in this…don't you think that I NEED to be beside you in this…?" Sophie said still reeling from what Nate had so calmly told them of what could happen to him.

"Sophie I…I might not even know you, and if I did, I would not know, not remember anything we had gone through, not remember that you were my wife and not a woman I was trying to catch…all of you, I would not know you as friends, as family but as enemies, people I was trying to put behind bars…don't you see…I can't let you go through this…what I did was for your own protection."

"I would remind you..." Parker said softly drawing Nate's eyes to her. "I would keep reminding you until you remembered. I would take care of you…I would always take care of you." He voice was so full of emotion that it broke Nate's heart and exactly the reason he had done what he had.

"That's the point Parker. All of you…you have your own lives, you have…I don't want you to have to…"

"Do what take care of our own? Take care of family. Isn't that what you taught us to do Nate? Isn't that what you made us do, care for each other, take care of each other, look out for each other…"

"Hardison don't…" Nate sighed. "Look guys, I don't want you to have to spend your lives taking care of me…"

"If this was me Nate…would you walk away, how would you feel if I did what you just did to me? How would you feel if I told you that I regret marrying you and walked away without even giving you the option to choose what you wanted to do?" Nate stared at her not knowing what to say. "You think that I should not be given the choice of what I want to do? You think I would choose to abandon you…Do you really think that any one of us would have left you alone?"

"No you wouldn't have…" Nate said sighing heavily. "And that's the damn point Sophie…you would do what you felt obligated…"

"OBLIGATED…" Sophie said and her had sped out slapping Nate across the face before she could stop herself. "You bastard…I LOVE YOU…don't you get that, it doesn't matter if you never recognize me again, no matter if you never get out of that bed again…Obligation, no Nate, LOVE." Sophie said her voice loud and angry.

"What's going on in here…Mr. Ford are you alright?" A nurse said as she entered the room having heard the angry voices.

Nate stared at Sophie and the others then turned to the nurse.

"Everything is fine nurse…" He said and seeing her disbelief he smiled slightly. "This is my wife Sophie and my family."

"Oh…well you need to rest Mr. Ford. Tomorrow is a big day." She said coming into the room and checking the drip and taking his pulse. "Your pulse is elevated and that is not good." Then she activated the blood pressure machine and shook her head as she read the results. "I am afraid I am going to have to ask you all to leave if you are going to upset my patient." She said to the group.

"That won't be necessary nurse." Nate said seeing danger in the nurse's future if she tried to remove them from the room. "I'll be good I promise." He smiled disarmingly.

"This discussion is not over Nate, but we will save it for when you are better." Sophie said pulling up a chair and sitting next to him. "And you will get better." She said adamantly as he opened his mouth to speak. "Now you will tell us again what is going on, from the beginning."

Parker moved to the side of the bed and put her hand on Nate's gently showing him her support. No matter what he had done, and make no mistake she was still angry with him and she still felt he had betrayed her by not telling her, telling them, but she found herself understanding and wanting him to know that no matter what, she was going to be there for him through this ordeal.

Eliot took up a position at the foot of the bed his eyes fixed on the Mastermind, with Hardison standing behind Parker his hands resting on the Thief's shoulders.

"Talk Nate…because whether you wanted it or not, whether you like it or not, we are not going anywhere."

Nate felt Sophie take his hand an squeeze it gently and looked into her eyes which now had lost all the anger and reflected only love and concern. God he loved this woman. He loved all of them, and although he was not happy that his plan of sparing them any of this was now completely foiled, he was somehow relieved it was. He was relieved to have them here, to feel Sophie take his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze, to feel Parkers small hands resting lightly on his. To have Eliot standing there as if he could protect him from whatever was to come and Hardison giving him his unqualified support, although he knew the Hacker must have been really upset by what he had done. He knew they were angry with him and if he came out of this without any problems, well his problems would only have just begun with them, but he was willing to face that. In fact, he was amazed at the feeling that came over him. He was willing to face anything now, just knowing they were here. He should have just told them in the beginning, perhaps his reasoning had been flawed…His fear of them having to go through what might happen was still very much there, but by the look in their eyes, them not being here would have been worse for them. He had been wrong…they did deserve to know what was happening with him…they had a right to know. Nate gave Sophie's hand a gentle squeeze back and then went over everything with them again.

By the time Nate finished with his explanations of what was to come and the possible side effects of the surgery it was early evening and he was completely exhausted mentally and physically. He lay back in the bed and closed his eyes.

"Ok…" Sophie said seeing that Nate was close to complete collapse. "Now you rest Mr. Ford…" Sophie said standing and planting a kiss on his forehead. "We will face tomorrow together. We will fight this together all of us." She said running her hand through his hair and squeezing his hand gently.

"Together…" Nate whispered as sleep took him. The drugs they were administering and the emotional toll the last four hours had taken on him had drained him completely and he could not resist the pull of sleep.

"I'll head back to the apartments and get us some changes of clothes." Eliot said as Sophie looked at him. He was not going to leave Nate's side for longer than necessary and he could see that they all felt the same way.

"I'll get us a room set up…" Hardison said as he pulled out his computer. "We are all going to need to rest and we can take turns, I'll have it set up for a longish term stay."

"I'll go get us some food." Parker added.

Sophie nodded and smiled noting that she would be left alone with Nate at least for a while. Everything would be taken care of, all she had to do was make sure Nate was taken care of.

"Thanks guys…I know Nate…what he did…"

"He did what he thought was best for us…" Eliot said looking at the sleeping man. "Doesn't mean he was right and doesn't mean I ain't going to make him see just how wrong he was when this is all over…but he was trying to protect us in his own stupid way."

Sophie nodded at Eliot's words. Even faced with his own death or maybe for him something worse, he had thought only of them and how this would affect them and tried to spare them from having him as a burden for the rest of their lives, or his life to be exact. Stupid as it was she had to marvel at his devotion to them, to her. She knew he loved her, she knew he loved them and what he had done in a way showed her just how much he did love her. That he was willing to go through all of this alone rather than put her through any kind of anguish…well although colossally stupid he had done it for them, for her and his families benefit.

"Ok…we'll be back in a bit…" Parker said then took Hardison's hand and led him out the room. Eliot followed leaving Sophie to sit with Nate watching over the Mastermind until their return.

I hope you enjoyed. Please leave me your reviews, they are greatly appreciated.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Nate woke later that night to find Sophie still seated beside him and Eliot sitting quietly in the corner of the room. Parker and Hardison were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey…"

"Sophie…" He mumbled out still groggy from the drugs.

"The doctor said you need to sleep." She told him as she leaned in to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Mmm…" He said closing his eyes again… "I love you Sophie…" He said softly as he drifted off into sleep again.

"I love you too you stupid, stubborn man…" Sophie whispered back to him kissing him gently on the forehead.

Sophie watched as Nate's breathing returned to a slow deep rhythm and she was sure he was asleep again.

"I'm scared Eliot…I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life." She said looking over to the Hitter who sat watching both her and Nate. "I mean…you know I have been in situations that, well were dangerous to say the least, but I always knew that I could find a way out of any situation. I trusted myself, and then you guys and Nate to get me out of whatever trouble I was in. I can't get him out of this Eliot. I can't stop this, I can't fight it and…I can't help him." Sophie said tears forming in her eyes.

"Yeah…" Eliot said standing and moving to Nate's bedside. "I would…it's my job to protect him, to take the bullets…now, I can't…there is nothing any of us can do Sophie. He has to fight this, he has to get through this and all we can do is stand by him support him and help him handle whatever comes." Eliot said sadly. "You know this is why he did what he did. He knew how we would feel, what this would do to you…to all of us, this feeling of helplessness, uselessness. He wanted to spare us that."

"He's a bloody idiot." Sophie said sniffing away her tears.

"Yeah he is…" Eliot said softly.

"We can't show him how scared we are…" Sophie said knowing that what Eliot had said was true. "We can't let him worry about us…he needs to concentrate on himself."

"We have to prepare ourselves Sophie…we have to face what could happen." Eliot said looking seriously at the woman.

She had to know that the chances of Nate getting through this unscathed was slim, at best and she had to be prepared for that. Either he could die on the table or…well there could be serious problems to face. For Nate but for them too. It would be easier for Nate in a way and that is what Nate knew, whatever happened Nate would be going through it. It would be hardest on them to stand by and not be able to do anything, and especially for Sophie because now she was in a position Nate had never wanted her in. She would have to make decisions that he never wanted her to make. He had seen the charts and Nate had not signed a DNR, at least not yet…he probably wanted to but because of their interruption he had not gotten round to it. That however left Sophie as his wife, with the decision should it come down to that.

"Can you ever be prepared Eliot…" Sophie asked the Hitter.

Eliot did not answer immediately and then shook his head slowly. "No…"

"It took us so long to get here Eliot, it's just not fair." Sophie said tearing up again. "Why did this have to happen…hasn't he been through enough in his life…?"

Silence followed Sophie's question. Neither one of them could answer the question she had posed. Nate was a good man and he did not deserve this. After everything he had gone through, all the pain he had suffered with his son…

"You know despite everything, all his drinking, he is still the strongest man I have ever known. He got through it all and he rebuilt himself, reshaped his life, and in that process he reshaped ours. I never thought anybody could hold us together, but he did. I never thought anybody could make us into a family. He did. No matter what happens Sophie, I know that Nate will fight with everything he has, and that alone…" Eliot paused and looked at the Mastermind. "It may not be enough to prevent what may happen, but one thing I know, if anybody can beat the odds, it's Nathan Ford."

"Now who's not being prepared?" Sophie smiled at him.

"I know what could happen Sophie…But you are right, we cannot be prepared not really, I will keep believing that Nate can beat this, I can't do anything else, I don't want to…we just have to be there for him and each other, because in the end that is all we have, each other, and he…" Eliot pointed his head at the Mastermind…"Gave that to us. No matter what happens, we will get through it. We will…"

"Yes we will…" Sophie said turning back to her husband and squeezing his hand gently. "All of us, you hear me Nate, our whole family will get through this…" She whispered almost in prayer.

"Hey guys…" Hardison said as Parker and he walked through the doors. "You too need to get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long day." Parker said looking at both the Hitter and the Grifter. "Nate is going to need us then more than now."

Sophie smiled at the Thief. She had changed so much in the last five years. She had worried when Nate had left her in charge of Leverage Inc. in the beginning, but then she had not seen what Nate had. Parker was more than any of them had given her credit for. Yes she messed around and took chances, but she was never unprepared, never. She took her duty to the others very seriously, but more than that, it was the duty she felt towards Nate, to safeguard his legacy, that drove her.

"Sophie, it's already eleven. They will be taking him into surgery at five. You need to get some sleep in between now and then. At least a few hours…" Hardison said backing Parker up. "I promise I will wake you at three thirty ok."

"They are right Sophie. We need to get some rest. Nate is going to need us tomorrow."

Sophie wanted to argue but they were right. She did not want to see Nate into surgery tomorrow looking haggard and unkempt. He needed her…he needed all of them to be strong for him. She rose and leaned over Nate kissing him gently and whispering to him that she would be back before they took him into surgery in the morning. Then she left the room with Eliot, leaving the youngest two to keep vigil over the sleeping man.

**Thank you all for your reviews they are greatly appreciated.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It was just before four in the morning when Sophie entered Nate's room. The nurses had already been there to prep him for the surgery.

"Sophie…" Nate slurred as she entered the room.

"Hey Nate…" She said moving swiftly to his side and taking his hand as she leaned in and gave him a kiss. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm scared…" Nate said unexpectedly and she could see the apprehension in his eyes and then the immediate regret that he had said it when he saw her reaction.

"Don't be…Hardison tells me you have the best neurosurgeon around." Sophie said squeezing his hand tightly. "You are strong Nate and you are not going to let a little thing like a tumour get to you are you?" She said trying to hide her own fear and be strong for him.

"Sophie…if I don't, if something…"

"Don't Nate. Nothing is going to go wrong, you are going to come through this just fine and then…" Sophie smiled and leaned into him again placing a feather light kiss on his lips. "Then my love, you and I are going away for a long holiday…"

"Second honeymoon…?" Nate smiled at her lopsidedly.

"And a third and fourth…we are going to be together for a long time my darling…don't you even think you are going to get away from me that easily." She smiled at him fighting back the tears that were pricking at her eyes.

"Never…" He smiled back. "Besides you would get Hardison to track me down and Eliot and Parker to bring me back…" He said softly.

"Correct…and you know they will." She said.

"Sophie…I need to speak to Eliot…alone." Nate said suddenly turning serious.

Sophie looked at him and smiled a knowing, frightened smile. He was going to leave instructions with Eliot as to what to do if things went wrong. She was not offended that he did not want to do that with her. He was trying to protect her…still…even now. She leaned in and kissed him a little more passionately this time. Nate responded greedily snaking his arm up and around her pulling her into him.

"Hardison…Parker let's go get some coffee shall we?" Sophie said pulling away from Nate and turning toward the other two members of their family. They nodded and followed Sophie out of the room, closing the door behind them.

"Eliot…" Nate said as the Hitter moved to his side taking Sophie's place. "We need to make arrangements for if…if the worst happens."

"Ok…" Eliot said not showing any of the emotion he was feeling.

"I already made arrangements with a man named Mark Bester. He is an old friend of mine, an attorney. He holds my medical proxy and…and I want to keep it that way." Nate said watching closely to see Eliot's reaction. He saw nothing on the Hitters face and smiled inwardly to himself. The Hitter was probably not happy with Nate choosing somebody else outside of his family to take responsibility for medical decisions, but he was not going to argue with him about it. "The reason is simple…"

"You don't need a reason…"

"Eliot. It's not that I don't trust you, or Sophie or any one of the others to…to make the right decisions…it's just that I don't want you to have to…to make those kinds of decisions." Nate said trying to make Eliot understand his reasons. "I could…it could be bad and…Sophie…I can't ask you…"

"Nate, I understand. Don't worry about that, just concentrate on getting through this." Eliot said taking the Masterminds hand. "It's OK…just, just concentrate on getting through this, and don't worry about anything else."

"Thank you Eliot." Nate said softly. "I also need to ask you one more thing. If things go bad…you have to promise me you won't let them or yourself…you have to let me go and move on…you can't…" Nate drew a deep breath before continuing. "Mark has a list of homes…institutions…please Eliot…none of you must…must allow yourselves to…to be…It's not what I want." Nate said hoping that Eliot could understand what he was saying.

"I promise…" Eliot replied swallowing hard. Of course they were not going to dump Nate into an institution and forget about him no matter what condition he was in, but now was not the time to tell him that. Nate needed to concentrate on himself. He needed to focus on himself now and not them, but that was clearly not going to happen until he had gotten all of this out and elicited Eliot's promise that he would do what he wanted him to.

"I know what I did was…I am sorry…I…I…" Nate stammered his emotions now starting to overwhelm him.

"You were an idiot, but you were an idiot for the right reasons. Besides…" Eliot said smiling at the man. "I will make sure you understand the error of your ways you are good and well…"

"You're a good man Eliot Spencer…" Nate said softly squeezing the hand that held his.

Before either of them could say any more the nurse entered the room followed by two others and Sophie, Parker and Hardison.

"It's time Mr Ford." She said moving to the bed as Eliot stepped away.

"Nate…" Sophie said moving to his side and taking his hand. "We'll be right here waiting for you. Right here…" She said leaning in and kissing him.

"I'm sorry but we have to go now." The tall dark haired Nurse said as they raised the sides on his bed and started to push the bed out of the room. Sophie trotted along at his side clinging to his hand almost in desperation.

"I love you Sophie Ford." Nate said as they stopped just before entering the area the others were barred from.

"I love you Nate…" She said stealing one last kiss as they opened the doors and started to push him through.

"Take care of each other…always…" He said looking at the other three.

"Don't talk like that Nate." Parker said listening to him, he was talking as if he was not coming back from that and that was something she was not willing to accept. "Like Sophie said, we will all be here waiting for you, so you better just come back."

"We love you man…It's going to be ok…you're going to be fine." Hardison said fighting back his emotions. Parker took his hand and they watched as Nate was rolled into the operating rooms.

"Now we wait." Eliot said as the doors shut and they were left standing in the hall. "Let's go get comfortable, it's going to be awhile." He said.

Four hours later found them all still waiting in the stark cold waiting room. There had not been much talking between them, each of them were engrossed in their own thoughts and fears. First Eliot had paced and then Sophie paced up and down the corridor their eyes not straying far from the swinging doors of the operating rooms. Parker sat leaning on Hardison who in turn ran his fingers over her head trying to draw strength from her as much as she was from him.

Nine hours into the surgery and they were starting to get anxious. The tension in the room was almost unbearable. The doctor had told them that the procedure should take seven hours or so. It was now two hours more than that estimate and they had heard nothing at all. Sophie had started pacing again as Eliot sat staring resolutely at the doors behind which they had taken Nate.

It was ten hours after they had taken Nate away that a tired and drawn looking doctor came through the doors and made his way to where they were sitting.

"Doctor…" Sophie said anxiously. She did not like the look on his face. This was not going to be good news.

"We managed to remove the tumour…it was however larger than what we expected…and there were some complications."

"Complications…?" Parker asked.

"During the surgery I am afraid he went into cardiac arrest, now we managed to bring him back and finish the surgery successfully, but we have not been able to wake him from the anaesthetic."

"Oh Nate…" Sophie gasped out, and then she looked into the doctors eyes and asked the question she feared most. "What about…?"

"I am afraid we will not know if there has been any damage caused by the removal of the tumour until he wakes Mrs Ford. We should however have the results of the biopsy back in a few hours."

"Biopsy…?" Parker asked, nobody had mentioned a biopsy.

"Yes, we still need to determine if the tumour was malignant or not." The doctor replied.

"Oh God…" Sophie said sinking down onto the seat.

"When do you think he will wake up?" Hardison asked.

"That I cannot tell you, it could be in a few hours, a few days or months…or it could be that he never wakes." The doctor replied. "We just don't know. I am sorry I don't have better news." The doctor said sighing heavily. "The good thing is that his vital signs are strong and he is fighting."

"Thank you doctor…When can we see him?" Eliot asked.

"They are moving him back to his room now. My nurse will come and get you once they have him settled." The doctor said then turned and left.

"Oh God Nate…" Sophie said burying her face in her hands as the tension of the last few hours flowed out of her. He did not want to wake up, he may never wake up…they didn't know what the surgery might have done to him and now the threat of cancer as well. It was completely overwhelming her to the point where she could barely breath.

"Sophie…Sophie…look at me." Eliot said pulling her hands away from her face as he crouched down to bring his face level with hers. "He made it through the surgery. One step at a time Sophie…he is alive and he is fighting…Like the doctor said, he is fighting…we have to hold on to that." He said trying to calm the woman down.

"That's right…" Parker said firmly. "That's right and Nate…Nate is a fighter…a survivor…" She said drawing all eyes to her. "He's a fighter…And when Nate fights, he usually wins…he will win." She said in a determined voice.

"Mrs Ford…" A nurse said approaching the group. "Your husband is back in his room now, you can go see him."

"Thank you…" Sophie said immediately standing and making her way towards Nate's room with the others following close behind. Parker was right, Nate was a fighter and a survivor, he would not give up and nor would she.

**Thanks again for all your reviews. Do you think Nate will wake up, and if and when he does, what kind of damage did the surgery do? Do you think the tumour was malignant; could Nate be facing cancer on top of everything else, and if he is, how do you think he would react to that when he wakes up? Please let me know what you thought about the chapter and I love getting all your speculation on what might happen.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Four days passed with no sign that Nate was going to wake up. The only good news during that time was the fact that the tumour was benign and having to deal with cancer was not in Nate's future. During those four days Nate was never alone. One of them was always by his side. After the first day and night, Eliot had insisted that they take turns sitting with the Mastermind. Sophie was exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. The others were also at the end of their ropes and if he was honest so was he. So they had agreed. Nate would never be left alone, but each one of them had their chance to leave the hospital and get away from the situation. Sophie mostly however did not leave the hospital; she used the room that Hardison had secured for them to sleep in. Eliot did not object, although he would have preferred it if she got out of the hospital all together he understood why she did not want to go home. It was not just her home it was Nate's, and him not being there was hard for her. He suggested that she go with Parker or Hardison, or even to his place, but she had refused saying she was quite comfortable where she was, and besides she did not want to be too far away when Nate woke up anyway.

Eliot was alone with Nate when he started to stir for the first time since the surgery. He looked up from the book he was reading as he heard Nate give a small moan. In an instant he was on his feet and standing next to the bed his eyes fixed on Nate.

"Nate…Nate…come on man you can do it…just open your eyes…" Eliot said softly to the man reaching out and placing his hand over Nate's.

"Eliot is he waking up…?" Sophie's voice came in over the com she had insisted they all wear so that when Nate woke, they would all know.

"Yeah Sophie…I think he is." Eliot said looking down at the Mastermind.

"I'm on my way." She said.

Sophie cursed as she turned toward the exit to the mall they were in. Trust Nate to decide to wake up on the day that Hardison and Parker had convinced her that she needed to get out. They had dragged her along to do shopping with them and to be honest she had been grateful, getting out of the hospital had been good. Now she was not there and Nate was about to wake up. Parker and Hardison followed her as they made their way to their car as quickly as possible and then sped towards the hospital listening intently as Eliot urged Nate to open his eyes.

"Nate…" Eliot said leaning closer as he watched the man struggle to open his eyes.

Nate heard a voice calling his name. He did not know where he was and he did not recognise the voice, but it sounded urgent. He could not remember what had happened but he knew something was wrong with him. He could hear the constant beeping of a machine, it sounded like a heart monitor. Was he in the hospital? Why? Then a fear bit into him, his family, what about his family, had something happened to them and he renewed his efforts to open his eyes and come out of the darkness that was trying to hold on to him.

When he finally managed to crack open an eye he was faced with something he did not expect. There was a man leaning over him calling his name out. The man had his hand placed on his and his voice was soft yet urgent. He ignored the man and tried to casts his eyes around the room looking for the people he really wanted to see, his family. Not seeing anybody else in the room and his anxiety levels rising he turned his eyes back to the man. He knew this man…Then recognition set in and his heart rate increased, he pulled his hand away from the one holding his and narrowed his eyes.

"Where is my family…what have you done to them…" He croaked out with great effort. His throat was dry and sore and his head hurt like hell. What had happened? Where was he and more importantly where were his wife and son?

"Nate…It's Eliot…" Eliot said softly.

"I know who you are Spenser…I know what you do…where is my family." Nate hissed out as he tried to push himself up in the bed and wincing in pain as he did. "What have you done with my wife and son…I swear I'll kill you if you hurt them." Nate said his voice although rough and hoarse, held a deadly tone that Eliot had not heard in a long time.

"What is going on in here…?" A nurse said as she rushed into the room. "Mr Ford please you need to calm down." She said as she approached his bed. His heart rate had shot up which in turn had caused the monitors to wail out in alarm brining the nurse into the room.

"Where is my family…" Nate shouted out at Eliot ignoring the nurse. He was now starting to panic. Where was he, why was Spenser here and what the hell had happened to his family.

"Mr Ford please…" She said then turned to Eliot. "Leave…get out of the room now!" She said realising that it was him that was causing the panic in her patient. Eliot looked at the nurse and then back at Nate and then left the room without a word.

"Eliot…what's going on…?" Sophie's anxious voice came over the com.

"I don't know…but he doesn't remember me…well he does, but not as…he remembers me for what I was, who I used to be. He thinks he is still married to Maggie and Sam is still alive, and that I…that I did something to them. " Eliot said and despite himself he could feel the hurt rise in him. That Nate would think he could do something to his family, to his child…what kind of a monster did Nate think he was?

"Oh no…" Was all Sophie said.

"The doctor has just gone in the room." Eliot informed them as he watched Nate's doctor enter and close the door firmly behind him.

"We're pulling up now. Eliot…this isn't good." Sophie said her voice full of emotion.

If Nate could not remember Eliot except for back when he was an insurance investigator and Eliot was a retrieval expert, then he was not going to remember any of them. No that was not true…he remembered them but as something other than the family they had become. More importantly…he thought his son was alive, what did that mean. That he was going to have to go through losing Sam all over again, feel the anguish of his death?

They waited impatiently outside Nate's room. The doctor had been in with him for more than half an hour now and still now word of what was going on. Finally the door opened and the doctor emerged.

"Doctor…what's going on?"

"Mrs Ford…I am afraid Mr Ford has a problem with his short to medium term memory. He remembers nothing of what has happened and he believes he is married to a woman name Maggie and has a son named Sam and that you Mr Spenser have done something to them. His anxiety levels are very high, caused I think by Mr Spenser's presence in the room when he awakened." The doctor looked over the four anxious faces surrounding him. He did not know what exactly was going on and was confused by his patients' reaction to Eliot knowing that these people cared deeply for his the sick man and he for them. "Do you know this Maggie and Sam?"

"Yes…he was married to Maggie Collins, his son Sam died six years ago from cancer." Sophie told him.

"I see…" That was going to make things difficult. "We could not get him calmed down, his anxiety levels were very high and that was causing him to hyperventilate and his heart beat was very high. I have had to sedate him for now. He should be out for a few hours and then we will have to see where to go from there." He said. "The good news is that there does not seem to be any other residual effects from the surgery. He has all his senses and appears to be physically unaffected."

"Will he get his memory back?" Hardison asked.

"That I could not tell you…each patient is different. I am afraid this is very much a wait and see scenario. But overall this was a very good outcome, even if it does not seem like it now. He is awake and he has no speech, hearing or sight impediment. His reflexes are good and his vitals are strong. " The doctor replied. "I think it would be best though, if he is going to have a similar reaction to all of you as he had to Eliot, that you do not approach him. At least not for a while, we have to keep him calm or he could do some damage to himself."

"How long…how long do you want us to stay away from him?" Sophie asked horrified at the prospect that they would not be able to be with Nate, especially now.

"That would depend. I am going to have to tell him about everything, fill him in on the last eight or so years of his life. You can help me with that, if you could give my nurse an account of those years it would be very helpful." He said. "Do you know if his wife…ex-wife… would be willing to come and see him, it would perhaps be easier for him to handle the truth about his son if she is around?"

"Yes…yes I can get Maggie here." Sophie said.

"Good, it would help for him to have a friendly face, I mean one that…"

"It's ok doctor we understand." Eliot said seeing the doctors' discomfort.

"It is going to be hard for him and there is no way I can predict how he is going to take the revelations." He paused slightly. "Although his vitals are good, I am worried what his mental state could do to him, he is still very weak and we need to proceed with caution and try to make sure that he remains as calm as possible. His brain is still healing from the surgery and there is a very real risk of him having a seizure or stroke as a result from too much anxiety which in turn could result in some form of brain damage" He paused briefly to allow his warning to sink in and he could see by their faces that they understood the seriousness of the situation. "As I said though, each patient is different so there is no way of predicting how this will go. Anyway he will be out for a couple of hours now and I will be back this afternoon to check on him. Until then, I would urge you to stay away from him. It would not do if he should wake and have another panic attack at seeing you."

"Of course we will do whatever you think is best." Sophie said softly. Once the doctor had left Sophie excused herself and headed back to their room.

"Parker leave her…" Eliot said when the Thief wanted to follow her. "I think she needs some time."

"We can't be with him…but Hardison; you can let us see him can't you, and hear exactly what is going on?" Parker said stopping her pursuit of Sophie and turning to the Hacker.

Hardison looked at the woman and smiled. "Yeah I can do that." He said. "I just need a few things."

"Well why don't we go get those things and get everything set up as soon as possible? I think it will be good for Sophie to be able to see that he is alright." She did not have to add that it would be good for all of them…that went without saying.

"Yeah ok let's go…" Hardison said taking her hand and pulling her alone. "Eliot you coming…?" He asked when the Hitter did not follow them.

"No, I think I'll stay here and see if Sophie needs anything." Eliot said, he really just needed some time alone as well.

"Ok, we'll be back soon." He said as he and Parker turned and left to get the equipment he would need.

Sophie walked into the room and closed the door locking it behind her. She did not want to see them now; she did not want to talk to them. She fell onto the bed and sobbed allowing all the tension of the last four days mixed with the emotions of the last hours events come out. Eventually she had cried herself out, sitting up on the bed she drew deep breaths trying to calm herself down. It had been just over an hour since the doctor had spoken to them and she needed to do what had to be done. She had to phone Maggie; she had to do what was right for Nate now. No matter how she felt, no matter how much it hurt her that she could not be the one to be there to comfort him, to hold him, she had to think of him and nothing else. She pulled out her phone and dialled Maggie's number as she wiped away the last vestiges of her tears.

"Sophie…" Maggie's said answering the phone.

"Maggie…"

"What's wrong?" Maggie said immediately recognising by Sophie's voice that something was going on. "Is Nate alright…?"

"No…I mean…yes…I mean…"

"Slow down Sophie." Maggie said her fear levels now rising. Something must be terribly wrong with Nate for Sophie to be in such a state. The woman was never this flustered except when it came to something to do with her ex-husband. "Just tell me."

"He…he had a brain tumour…"

"Oh my God…"

"No…he's fine…well they removed the tumour and it was benign. He made it through the surgery fine. There are no physical disabilities and…but…"

"Sophie…?"

"He lost his memory…he only remembers you and…and Sam…he thinks he is still married to you and that Sam is still alive."

"Oh Sophie…"

"The doctor said it would help if you were here when…when they told him…"

"I'm on the next plane out." Maggie said without hesitation. She was busy on a job but that could wait. Nate needed her, Sophie needed her and she was going to be there for both of them.

"Maggie…"

"It's ok Sophie, it will be ok…I'll see you in a few hours and then we can talk. We'll figure this out I promise." Maggie said trying to reassure the distraught woman.

"Thank you…" Sophie said softly.

"I'll see you in a bit." Maggie said in reply. "Just hang in there Sophie."

Sophie stood and walked to the bathroom to wash her face and neaten herself up before she went out again. She did not know where the others were but she knew she wanted to be with them. They needed to stick together, now more than ever. She unlocked and opened the door to find the three of them standing outside the door patiently waiting for her.

"What's going on…?" She asked as Hardison moved passed her and into the room followed by Eliot and Parker who grabbed her hand and pulled her back in closing the door behind them.

"This…" Hardison said as he placed his laptop on the table.

Sophie moved forward to see what Hardison was talking about and then she saw the sleeping figure of Nate on the screen. She raised her hand and reached out to touch the image, tears pricking her eyes again.

"We can't be with him…but we can watch over him." Parker said.

"Yes we can…" Sophie said softly. "I've called Maggie…she will be here as soon as she can." She told them still not taking her eyes of Nate.

"Ok…then we wait and just be ready for when he needs us…" Eliot said. "Sophie I know this is hard, but it is something that we can fix…it could have been a lot worse."

"I know." Sophie said solemnly.

Eliot was right. This could have turned out a lot worse for Nate. He had to deal with the loss of his memory, and he was going to have to deal with the loss of his son, his father and his marriage, but at least he was there to deal with it. At least he was still Nate in all the ways that really mattered. Even if he never got his memory back, they would tell him, remind him, and make him understand how far he had come, how far they had come over the last six years. They would make him understand that he had a family that loved and cared for him, she would remind him of how much she loved him. Yes it would be hard…hardest on Nate, but he would get through this, they would get through it as a family.

Suddenly Sophie noticed a figure dropping into Nate's room through the ceiling.

"What the…" Sophie blurted out and then stopped seeing it was Parker who had dropped in. She had not even noticed the blonde was missing and by the looks on their faces neither had the others. They had been too absorbed with Nate and with their own thoughts and fears.

Parker approached the bed of the sleeping man. She smiled down at him and placed her hand gently on his.

"I promised you I would remind you Nate…and I will, every day until you remember. We are all here for you Nate whether you know it or not. We will be here always. This is your reminder…" She said then she moved back away from the bed and was gone from the room.

"You have to love her don't you…?" Hardison said as he watched her come and go.

"Yes you do Hardison…" Sophie smiled through her tears. Bless the little Thief you really did just have to love her.

**Thank you for all the reviews they are so greatly appreciated. Please don't forget to review this chapter too. **


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Maggie arrived in the early evening and Sophie and Eliot went to fetch her at the airport. The other two stayed behind to keep an eye on Nate who was still under heavy sedation and was in and out of consciousness.

"Sophie…" Maggie called out as she spotted her friend.

"Maggie…" Sophie called back and the two woman embraced each other warmly.

"Hi Eliot…" Maggie said as she and Sophie separated.

"Maggie." Eliot said taking her bags and indicating they should move towards the car.

"How are you holding up?" Maggie asked Sophie.

"I'm alright." Sophie said softly and although she was a very good liar Maggie saw right through her and shook her head but did not say anything.

"How is he?"

"Sedated...The doctor doesn't want to take a chance that he goes into another panic attack, it could lead to…to a stroke or…" Sophie said tears welling again in her eyes. Maggie took the woman's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Ok…but he wants to tell Nate about Sam and me and everything else?"

"Yes, he said it would be better to tell him in a controlled environment, and he asked for you because…because he needs a friendly face, one he can…can trust."

"I see…" Maggie said seeing that this was hurting her friend tremendously. The fact that she could not be with Nate, the fact that the doctor had told her to stay away from him, that she would do more harm to him than good with her presence, it was killing her.

"What does he think is going to happen when we tell Nate?"

"He doesn't know. But the thing is Nate is anxious because of seeing Eliot, he is going to be in an anxious state until we clear everything up. So not telling him is not an answer either. They can't keep him sedated forever and when they take him off sedation he is still going to be in the same state…" Sophie said. "If he did not remember anything at all, or had not reacted in the way he had to Eliot, then we would not tell him anything until he was stronger, but…"

"But his reaction to me leaves us no choice." Eliot said over his shoulder. "He thinks I have taken his family, you and Sam, and holding you for some reason. He thinks…thinks I have hurt you." Eliot said and Maggie could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Eliot I'm sure…"

"It's ok Maggie. I know who and what I was before, and I understand Nate's reaction." Eliot said and he did, he had been a monster, the things he had done made him a monster. Nate had tracked him, he knew what Eliot was capable of and his fear at seeing Eliot was not unexpected considering he did not remember anything of the last years. If it had not been for Nate he would have fallen so much further, into a dark place that he would never have been able to get out of.

"So how is this going to work…?" Maggie asked.

"I don't know. The doctor will speak to us when we get back to the hospital and we will take it from there."

"Ok…" Maggie said sitting back in the seat. Silence fell over the group as Eliot drove them towards the hospital.

They were met at the front door of the hospital but Parker and Hardison. Parker informed them that the doctor would be round a little later to talk to them about what would happen from here in in and to brief Maggie on what the plan was for telling Nate and what to expect when they did. Then they all trouped up to the waiting area outside of Nate's room.

"Hardison…?" Sophie asked looking at the door which remained closed.

"He's in and out, they are keeping him pretty much under. Every time he wakes he is desperate to find his son and you…" Hardison said looking at Maggie. "There is a nurse with him all the time now.

"Ok…so when did the doctor say he would be here?"

"Mrs Ford…?" Doctor Wayne Cowan asked as he approached the group taking them by surprise.

"Yes…" Both Maggie and Sophie answered simultaneously.

"Sorry…the ex-Mrs Ford I presume…?" The doctor said looking at Maggie.

"Yes." Maggie said taking the doctors hand as he introduced himself.

"Shall we sit?" He said as he moved towards the couches in the waiting area. The rest followed and took seats while Eliot stood behind the couch that the doctor and Maggie sat on.

"How much do you know?" Dr. Cowan asked.

"Sophie filled me in on everything up to now." Maggie said.

"Good. Well we need to make Mr Ford understand what has happened during the gap in his memory. Obviously the death of his son, and his divorce from you are going to be hard for him to hear. However I believe it is imperative that he learns the truth so that he can deal with it. He is currently under the impression that both you and his son are in danger from Mr Spenser and that is causing him great concern." The doctor explained. "Normally we would not do this at such an early stage after the surgery, considering the nature of the memories we will be trying to restore, however we have no choice at this stage. Mr Ford cannot be kept under sedation for much longer, it is not doing him any good and every time he wakes he is more confused and more anxious."

"I understand Doctor." Maggie said softly. "Where do we start?"

"Well firstly we have to convince him that this is in fact the year 2013 and that he is in a hospital after undergoing surgery for a brain tumor. Now we have tried to explain this to him but for some reason he refuses to believe us. I think he believes we are all part of some conspiracy and that we want something from him. Perhaps if it comes from you he will believe it to be true. Once we have established that with him you will have to fill him in on the happenings during the gap in his memory…" The doctor paused and looked at Maggie. "Including the death of your son."

"Ok…"

"Mrs Ford…"

"Maggie, please call me Maggie."

"Maggie, I know this will be hard for you to recount the events, but you have to remain calm and as emotionless as possible when you relate these events to him."

Maggie drew in a deep breath. She had to tell the man she had once loved so very much and still loved to some extent that his son…their son was dead, let him relive that awful truth and she was not supposed to show any emotion. She did not know if that was even possible.

"Ok…" Maggie said hesitantly.

The doctor smiled at her sadly, he knew what he was asking was going to be difficult for her.

"Alright, we have sedated him again only a short while ago so he will sleep through the night now. I propose you all go and get some rest. I will start weaning him from the sedatives tonight and tomorrow morning we can talk to him. Let's say around eight am?"

"We'll be here." Eliot said.

"Good." Dr. Cowan said standing up. "I will see you tomorrow then." He said then turned and left the group.

"Oh God…" Maggie said letting out a deep breath.

"Maggie…"

"I'm fine Sophie, it's just…Sam…"

"I know it is going to be hard to tell him and not to be emotional about it…I know how difficult it will be but…"

"But I will do it." Maggie said wiping away a stray tear that had appeared unheeded.

"Well, there is nothing we can do tonight so why don't you go get freshened up Maggie and then we can go out to dinner." Eliot said.

"That sounds good." Maggie smiled. "Where do I go…?" She asked knowing they would have a room around here that they were using.

"Come…I'll take you." Sophie said picking up one of Maggie's bags while she took the other and leading Maggie towards their room.

Eliot watched them go. Now he was really starting to understand why Nate had done what he had. He admired the man for it, even though he still thought it was an idiotic idea. Nate had wanted to avoid all of this. All this pain and emotional fallout that this was causing, not for himself but for Sophie, and now Maggie, not to mention the rest of the team. Nate could not possibly have possibly known that this was going to happen, but nonetheless he had wanted to avoid all fallout for the team and the woman he loved.

Maggie and Sophie returned to meet them a half hour later and the group set off to get some dinner and just catch up and relax before the ordeal the next day would bring. It was a good dinner with Sophie filling Maggie in on what she and Nate had done on their honeymoon and about her theatre group. They avoided the topic of Nate. Tomorrow would be here soon enough. Once they had finished dinner, Eliot offered that Maggie and Sophie stay at his place for the night. Parker and Hardison said they would go to their place and Eliot would return to the hospital.

"I'll pick you guys up at seven." He said as he left the woman at his apartment.

"Thanks Eliot." Maggie said giving him an unexpected hug. "You know he really does care for you right…I mean…he doesn't really believe you could or would…"

"I know Maggie…I know." Eliot whispered into her ear as they hugged each other.

"Good. Then we will see you tomorrow morning at seven." Maggie said pulling away from the Hitter and smiling at him.

"Right. Good night you two, and try to get some sleep ok." He said. If he knew the two of them they would be up most of the night talking. They were both going to need their strength tomorrow and he hopped that they would get some rest at least.

"We will. You too..." Sophie said kissing him lightly on the cheek. Then Eliot turned and left the two woman to return to keep vigil at the hospital.

It was a quarter to eight when they all gathered outside Nate's room again anxiously awaiting the arrival of the doctor.

"Good morning Maggie…Mrs Ford…" Dr Cowan said as he arrived to meet them.

"Mr Ford is awake and lucid. He was weaned from the sedatives during the night. He is in a very anxious state at the moment so we should proceed as soon as possible."

"I'm ready Doctor." Maggie said.

"Maggie…"

"It's going to be find Sophie…" The blonde woman said pulling her friend into a hug. "We'll get through this."

Sophie nodded and then watched the doctor and Nate's ex-wife enter his hospital room and close the door.

"Hardison…?" Sophie asked.

"Here." Hardison said setting up his laptop on the little table in front of the couches. He knew that Sophie would not want to leave the area to go back to the room, and although they were in a very public place it was too bad. They were going to watch and everybody else be damned.

All of them took their seats in front of the little computer with Eliot again taking up a position behind them. Then they fell silent as the watched the scene inside the room unfold.

**Thank you all again for the reviews. How do you think the talk with Maggie is going to play out? What do you think Nate's reaction is going to be? Please don't forget to leave me your thoughts on this chapter, I look forward to receiving each and every review.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Maggie entered the room to find a very subdued Nate lying in the bed. When he saw her however he pushed himself upright and looked at her anxiously.

"Maggie…" He cried out holding his arms out to her. "Oh thank God…are you alright…what have they done to you." She said as Maggie approached him and was pulled into a fierce hug." They have been holding me here and they did…something…"

"I'm fine Nate…" She said hugging him back and then feeling his lips pressed to hers in a passionate kiss, which she did not return. She was very conscious of the eyes that were on her outside. She had not been told they had camera's in the room, but knowing Hardison, they definitely did.

"I was so worried…when I saw Spenser…what does he want? Where is Sam?" Nate asked after kissing her and then pushing her back to arm's length away from him scanning her to see if she had any injuries.

"Eliot doesn't want anything…"

"Eliot…?" Nate said a dark look clouding his features.

"Nate we have to talk." Maggie said sitting down on the edge of his bed and taking his hand in hers.

"Maggie…what's going on where is Sam…?" Nate said his voice low and anxious.

"Nate…do you know what year it is?" Maggie asked softly.

Nate looked at her confused and then at the doctor who had asked him the same thing. What was going on here, of course he knew what year it was.

"Why does everybody keep asking me that…Maggie…what's going on?"

"How old is Sam?" Maggie asked approaching it from a different direction.

"Maggie…" Nate said then seeing she was asking him a serious question he frowned slightly before answering.

"Nate just answer the question." Maggie urged him.

"Maggie our son is five…why would you ask me that?"

"I have never lied to you Nate…"

"I know that." Nate said looking at her intently.

"I won't lie to you now…do you believe that?"

"Yes." Nate said. He was not sure what was going on but he could see the earnestness on his wife's face and so waited for her to lead him.

"Nate. Sam…" Maggie swallowed hard. She had to control her own feelings and emotions but this was difficult.

"What's wrong with Sam…" Nate said his voice full of fear as he stared at his wife. "Does Spenser have him? What does he want…I'll give him anything he wants…anything." Nate said anxiously.

"No…no Nate…" Maggie said then pushed on. "Sam got sick when he was seven years old. He got sick and…and he died shortly after his eighth birthday. This is 2013 Nate, Sam has been gone for seven years."

"No…no…" Nate shook his head. "No…no…no Sam…NO… why are you lying to me Maggie…why, what have they done to you. What have they done to Sam?" Nate said taking Maggie by the shoulders and shaking her as he spoke.

"Nate, I am not lying to you." Maggie said her heart breaking at the look in his eyes and not resisting him at all. "You had an operation to remove a brain tumor and it has affected your memory…please Nate…I have never lied to you before, why would I lie now?" Maggie asked softly.

"If you aren't lying to me what was Eliot Spenser doing here?" Nate said sitting back in the bed now. Explain that he thought as he watched his wife's expressions closely.

"Eliot and you are friends…"

Nate laughed then. "Friends... I don't think so. Spenser is a killer Maggie…a Hitter."

"He was. That was until he teamed up with you, you and Parker and Alec Hardison and…and Sophie Devereaux."

"Now I know you are lying. Eliot, Parker and Hardison work alone…they always work alone, no exceptions."

"Then how would I know them Nate?" Maggie asked seriously.

"I…I don't know…I…" Nate stuttered. How did his wife know those three people, let alone Sophie?

Sophie…the Grifter's name brought a tinge of guilt to him as he looked at Maggie. But no…if she was telling the truth then his son was dead, his little boy was dead and he did not want to believe that. Spenser had done something to her. They were in a hospital after all, maybe they were trying to brainwash them… Maybe Spenser had teamed up with the other two and they were coming after him for something. Nate frowned as he thought about that. Then his mind turned to the last member of the group Maggie had named. Sophie would never be involved in something like this, she would never hurt him, or his family of that he was absolutely certain. But he could not wrap his mind around what Maggie was saying. His son was dead. No…he would not believe that.

"Nate. I promise you that I am not lying to you."

"No…Sam is not dead. I would…how can he be…no, I won't believe it…" Nate said doggedly refusing to believe that Sam was gone, that he had been gone for seven years.

"Nate…Nate please listen to me…" Maggie said taking his hand in hers. "Please believe me when I tell you that I wish it was not so. I wish Sam was still here, I wish he was still five years old and I wish he had never got sick and died. When he did you went off the rails. You drank all the time. All the time. You lost your job, you lost…you lost so very much. It took you a long time to find your way back, and you did it with the help of four people who care for you very much. Now look at me Nate…" Maggie said. "Look into my eyes and tell me if I am lying. Sam is gone, this is 2013 and you have lost your memory. Eliot is not doing anything but protecting you as much as he can, he is taking care of your family. Parker, Hardison and Sophie… Please Nate…can you see that I am not lying to you?"

"Sam is dead…" Nate said softly tears forming in his eyes and a pained hurt expression manifesting on his face.

"Oh Nate…I am so sorry…I am so sorry you have to go through this again." Maggie said leaning forward and pulling him into her arms. He did not respond, he simply let her hold him.

"I don't…" Nate sat back pushing Maggie away from him. "I…my son is dead…" Nate said unable to hold back the tears now. He was not anxious anymore about what was happening, he was simply numb, he believed Maggie, she was not lying to him, instinctively he knew she was not lying to him. She would never lie to him about that, she would never tell him his son were dead if he wasn't, deep down he knew that.

"I am so sorry Nate." Maggie repeated watching him fall apart before her eyes again. "But you know you have people who love you, who care for you so very much."

Nate did not respond to her. He did not care. All he could think of was that his son was dead. How did he die, was he in pain, was it long and drawn out. Maggie said he was sick, sick with what? So many questions swam in his mind, questions he was afraid to ask and yet had to know the answer to. He looked up at her is blue eyes looking washed out and empty.

"How…how did he..." Nate drew a deep breath and then blew it out slowly. 'How did my son die?"

"Mr Ford…I think you need to rest for a while now." The doctor said stepping forward. His patient was in a very fragile state and he would prefer to continue with this a little later.

"I want to know." Nate said emphatically. "I need to know."

The doctor looked at the man and then nodded slightly to Maggie. It would be worse now to stop he thought looking at Nate. Nate's vitals were still stable. Although he was taking a lot of emotional strain, his heartbeat was steady, maybe it was better if they finished all of this now.

"He had cancer Nate…there was nothing anybody could do for him." Maggie said softly holding back her own tears. "We did everything we could but…"

"But we couldn't save him…" Nate whispered.

"No." Maggie said.

Nate closed his eyes and allowed that information to sink in. Sam was gone. Sam was gone and he was not coming back.

"Nate there is one more thing…" Maggie said.

Nate opened his eyes and stared at his wife. What more could there be he thought? He did not ask but his eyes told her to continue.

"We are no longer married." Maggie said softly.

Nate stared at her. They were no longer married. She was not his wife. His son was dead and he no longer had a wife…what other revelations did she want to spring on him. How much worse could his life be?

"Because of Sam…?" Nate asked. "Because I could not save him…?"

"No…Oh God no Nate. It was just…you…you couldn't handle Sam's death, you…"

"I started drinking you said…" Nate prompted her. He had no doubt that it was his fault that his marriage had fallen apart.

"Yes…and you shut me out…you shut down." Maggie said softly.

"I understand." Nate said softly closing his eyes again.

"No…no I don't think you do. Nate…I was afraid, afraid I was losing you too, then I did lose you. You were there but not there…For almost two years you just…you just existed." Maggie said. She needed to tell him this because he needed to understand what those four people outside had done for him.

"So you left." Nate said keeping his eyes closed hiding his pain from her. It hurt, not because she had left but because he had obviously not been there for her when she needed him. He had chosen to drink. Right then at that moment, he knew that was probably true because all he wanted right now was a drink. He wanted to drink this away and wake up to find it was only a horrible dream.

"Yes…" Maggie said softly. "I left. I had to."

"I understand." Nate said quietly.

"But you…you don't understand everything Nate. There is more to the story."

Nate opened his eyes and stared at her. What else could there be. I mean she had just told him his son was dead, he was no longer married to her. Everything he knew to be true was not.

"I told you that you had teamed up with Eliot, Parker, Hardison and Sophie."

"Yes." Nate said and even though he had no idea how that had happened. He was not a Thief, no matter what had happened he could not believe he had sunk so low. Yes, according to her he was a drunk, that he could probably be. But to be tied to a Hitter, a Hacker and a Thief…no, he was not a criminal, he was an honest man. Had he really turned into somebody who would go against everything he believed in, everything he had fought his entire life not to be…? Then there was the question of Sophie Devereaux.

"They are your family now." Maggie told him.

"What are you talking about Maggie. I chased them, they are criminals…"

"Yes they are, they were. But they are still your family. First they were your team, but they are more than that now, they are your family and they love you very much." Maggie said adamantly.

Nate shook his head trying to figure out how that could possibly have happened. There was no way. They were loners, all of them. Love him. He did not think so. Maybe he was dreaming this.

"I know what you are thinking Nate and I am not going to go into all the details of how that happened. They can tell you. But you need to know how much they care for you. How much you care for them. You love them. All of them, but especially Sophie."

"What…" Nate said unable to hide his embarrassment and shame from her.

"I know about you and Sophie Nate, and I know that nothing happened between you when we were married. In fact nothing happened between you until three years into your…your partnership. But it did happen, you and Sophie love each other, you have for a long time." Maggie continued on despite seeing that Nate was highly uncomfortable. Even back then, in the time he could remember she knew he felt guilty for his feelings for the Grifter. Maggie knew he had never acted on them and never would have had Sam lived. She smiled sadly at that thought.

"Maggie…"

"You love her Nate, you loved her then and you love her now. In fact you love her so much you married her." Maggie blurted out.

Nate looked at Maggie with wide eyes. He had married Sophie?

"So I am a Thief and I am married to a Grifter, my son is dead and…and we are divorced and my new family are criminals…" Nate said softly.

"That about covers it." Maggie agreed.

"I see…"

"You know they are waiting outside."

"I don't want to see them…" Nate said suddenly. He couldn't. He couldn't see them now. What did he say to them? What did he say to Eliot? If he had treated all of them the way he had treated Eliot and the doctor…He only knew them as adversaries, not as family. He did not doubt what Maggie had told him. She was not lying although he would give anything in the world if she were. He was still reeling from the revelation that Sam was dead, and although it was hard to swallow, deep down he knew it was true. He could not face them now. He needed some time.

"Nate…"

"Please Maggie…I can't…" Nate said pleadingly. He was exhausted. All he wanted to do was sink into oblivion and forget everything.

"Sophie…"

"Sophie…God Maggie I am sorry…" Nate said realizing how difficult this must be for Maggie.

"There is nothing to be sorry about Nate. I moved on, you moved on and I am very happy for you, both of you. Sophie and I are friends." Maggie said trying to put his mind at ease about his relationship with the Grifter. "She is good for you Nate. She loves you."

"I…I just can't. Not right now." Nate said softly.

"Maggie, perhaps we can leave Nate alone for a little while now. I am sure that there is a lot to take in." Doctor Cowan said stepping forward.

"Doctor…I am sorry about, well I was sure…" Nate said, he had been very difficult since he had woken up and he knew it, he had been convinced the doctor was working in collusion with Spenser and had done something to his family and things had gotten ugly.

"I understand Mr Ford. Do not worry about that."

"A brain tumor…was the operation a success?" Nate asked looking anxiously at the Doctor. Maggie had said he had a tumor, a brain tumor, what if the worst was still to come, what if…

"Yes we did and it was benign. So the good news is you are going to make a full recovery."

"What about my memory?" Nate asked. What if he never remembered? What would that do to the four people Maggie had named. If they were as close as she said they were, and he now accepted that everything Maggie said was true, then this must be just as hard on them as himself.

"I can't answer that Mr Ford. Sometimes it takes days or weeks for memory to return. Sometimes it never comes back. Sometimes it only comes back in flashes. But if you allow the people who know you, know your life during those missing years to talk to you about them, that sometimes brings back the memories quicker."

"What if I don't want to remember…?" Nate asked almost to himself. Did he really want to remember his son dying, or getting a divorce, or any of the myriad of things he had done in between now and then. He had become a criminal. God knows what he had gotten up to during that time. Sophie…did he want to remember how he and Sophie had ended up married. Perhaps that he did want to remember…

Neither the doctor nor Maggie chose to answer that question. Both decided it was better left alone for now.

"I think you need to rest now Mr Ford. I will give you something to help you sleep and we can deal with the rest of this later."

"Ok…" Nate agreed readily. He wanted to close his eyes. He was tired and his head was hurting.

"Nurse…" The doctor said handing her the chart with the prescription he had just written in. Then he turned back to Nate. "I know this is a lot to take in Mr Ford. I also know it has been quite a shock, all these revelations. But now you can start dealing with the reality of it and we can move forward."

"Yeah…" Nate said tiredly.

"We'll be right outside Nate…all of us." Maggie said kissing his forehead gently. "All of us." She repeated.

"Maggie…" Nate said but the effect of the drugs started taking immediate effect as the nurse injected the sedative into his IV.

"Sleep now Nate…just rest…" Maggie said softly. Then he was out.

"He'll sleep for a few hours. Then we will see what happens." The Doctor said in response to Maggie's unasked question. "Thank you Maggie…I don't think we would have been able to get through to him without you. Now it is just time, time and patience that is going to help."

Maggie nodded at the Doctor and then with one last look at Nate she left the room to go and talk to the four anxious people waiting outside.

**Thank you all for your reviews. Sorry for the delay in posting unfortunately living in South Africa I once again was a victim of crime, having experienced an attempted hi-jacking a few nights ago – third one I might add. But now I have most of my stuff replaced, I can finish the story. **


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**First let me say thank you to all of your good wishes. Unfortunately living in South Africa you sort of get used to crime, it is part of everyday life, but it is a little disruptive. Now for the next chapter.**

Sophie looked up as Maggie exited Nate's room. She could see the toll of the last two hours had taken on the woman and stood walking over to her and pulling her into a hug.

"I think I got through to him." Maggie said as Sophie held her.

"We saw…" Sophie told her.

"He's devastated…" Maggie said tears now escaping her eyes as she and Sophie returned to the couch in the waiting area and the other three Leverage crew.

"He believed you though." Eliot said.

Maggie nodded.

"Why doesn't he want to see us then…" Parker asked looking at Maggie with sad eyes and a characteristically sad pout. "I don't understand, if he believed you, if he knows the truth then why won't he see us?"

"He just needs some time, that's all Parker. It's a lot to take in. Sam, us, the tumor…"

"But when he wakes up he'll want to see us right?" Parker asked.

"I don't know." Maggie said honestly.

An uneasy silence settled over the group. Parker still looked perplexed by the fact that Nate did not want to see them, even though he believed Maggie when she had told him who they were to him. They were not just a Hitter a Hacker and a Thief, they were his family. Sophie was his wife.

"Parker, Nate believed Maggie yes. But he doesn't remember. He doesn't remember what we went through to become a family, he doesn't remember how we became a team. We are telling him that he joined forces with the very people he chased, the very people he tried to put into jail. We are telling him that his whole life as he remembers it is no longer. He has no wife, no child, and he has become a criminal, something he tried his best not to become because he did not want to be like his dad. I know this is hard to understand, but Nate is going to need time, time and patience."

"What if he never remembers?" Hardison said looking at the Hitter. He knew what Eliot was saying was true, but what if Nate did not remember. Could they rekindle that bond just through talking to him, telling him what had gone before. What if they couldn't, what was going to happen to their family.

"I don't know Hardison…" Eliot said honestly shaking his head.

Sophie said nothing. She sat staring at the screen watching a sedated Nate sleeping restlessly. What if he did not remember. It had taken them so long to reach a point where they could admit their love for each other. It had taken so long for him to take that step. Through just friends, to uneasy companions, to friends with benefits, and finally to open up and admit his love openly, asking her to marry him. What was she going to do if it was all lost along with his memory. She knew he loved her, even if he did not remember their marriage, he remembered his feelings for her, but it was forbidden feelings that he was remembering.

"So what do we do?" Hardison asked.

"We wait. We be patient and we give him all the time he needs. We talk to him, we tell him and try to jog his memory, that is all we can do."

"And if he doesn't want to see us…?" Parker asked.

"Then I don't know Parker…I just don't know." Eliot said.

"Where you going Sophie?" Parker asked as the Grifter stood and started to walk away without a word.

"I need some air Parker." Sophie said softly. "I just need some time alone ok?"

Parker nodded in understanding and the three of them and Maggie watched as she walked away.

"This is so hard for her." Eliot said softly his eyes following the Grifter.

"Yes it is. It is very hard to feel you are losing the person you love." Maggie said. She really did know what Sophie was feeling, she had gone through the same thing with the same man. She had lost Nate bit by bit as he fell apart after Sam's death and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

"Thank you Maggie, I know that was not easy, for you or him." Eliot said looking at the blonde woman fondly.

"I'm afraid for him Eliot. He is in such a bad, hurt, confused place. Nate doesn't deal with that in the best of circumstances."

"Yeah I've been thinking about that." Eliot said.

"I don't know what he is going to do. His whole world doesn't make sense to him now. He could…he could go off the rails again, go back to what he was before, a drunk with no direction." Maggie said fearfully.

"We won't let that happen." Parker interrupted.

"We may not be able to stop it Parker. It depends on Nate. You know it took him three years to lighten up and to start accepting what and who he was, who he had become. It took him four years to admit what we meant to each other as a family. I mean he always looked out for us and took care of us, he would have died for any of us from day one, but it took three years for him to admit it to himself, and then finally to us. All that is lost somewhere in his memory and without that, I don't know if he will ever be the same, with us, or Sophie or anybody." Eliot said not sugarcoating his point of view. Parker had to know what they could face.

"He has to remember." Hardison stated. Nate had to remember because he was not willing to let the Mastermind go, not under any circumstances.

"That's not up to us Hardison, any of us, it is not even up to Nate. We can only hope."

"Parker where are you going…?" Eliot asked as the Thief moved toward Nate's room.

"I'm going to sit with Nate."

"Parker…"

"He can throw me out if he wants to, but until he does, I am going to stay with him." Parker said her eyes daring Eliot to argue with her.

"I'll sit with you girl." Hardison said softly joining her at Nate's door.

Eliot watched them enter the room and saw on the screen how they both pulled up chairs beside Nate's bed, Parker patted his hand and whispered to him that this was his reminder before sitting back leaning on the Hacker who had pulled his chair close to hers.

"You want to get some coffee?" Eliot asked Maggie after a few minutes of silence as they both watched the two youngest member of their family sit quietly with the sedated Mastermind.

"That sounds good…" Maggie smiled at the Hitter. Eliot smiled back and offered her his arm leading her down to the cafeteria of the Hospital.

**Thanks for the reviews. I am so happy you are all still enjoying the story. How do you think Nate is going to react to Parker and Hardison's presence? Do you think he is going to get his memory back and if he doesn't what will happen? What do you think will happen when he sees Sophie again? Please don't forget to let me have your feedback on this chapter as well, I really appreciate you all taking the time to review.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Nate was in a dream, a dark dream that he desperately wanted to get out of. It was a dream of death and sorrow…he kept seeing a small boy die, over and over again in his mind.

"What do you think he is dreaming about?" Parker asked as she watched Nate squirm in the bed.

"Nothing good…" Hardison said with concern as Nate called out in his sleep, a heart wrenching 'NO' escaping his lips along with the tears escaping his eyes.

Suddenly Nate's eyes flew open and he stared around the room wildly trying to get his bearings. He sat up and then felt a sharp pain in his head which made him fall back on the pillows. He closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing as he realised that it was just a dream. Then he remembered his talk with Maggie. It was not just a dream…it had happened, his son had died, it was just not happening right now.

Neither Parker nor Hardison said anything as they watched Nate struggle to regain his composure, both wanted to but for some reason they felt they should not. They watched as Nate lay back in the bed and closed his eyes again, taking deep breaths to try to calm himself. Then Nate opened his eyes and stared at the two of them as they stood beside his bed.

Parker reached out to Nate wanting to ease his fears and calm him but he instinctively drew his arm away from her then frowned as he saw the hurt look flit across her face. He heard Maggie's words again. They were his family. These people were his family. He could see the concern on both of their faces as they watched him and he felt a distinct uneasiness. Neither he nor them spoke, he did not know what to say and they were scared to say anything. They stayed like that for a few minutes which seemed like hours, each eyeing the other not quite sure what to do. Then Nate sat up and cleared his throat as he ran his hand through his sweat soaked hair.

"How long have you two been here?" He asked hoarsely. His throat was dry and he would give anything for a drink.

Hardison lifted the glass of water off the side table and held it out to Nate. Nate looked at him and then took the glass sipping the cool liquid. This was not exactly the drink he had in mind but it did soothe his throat a little.

"Thanks…" He said as he handed the glass back to Hardison. Hardison took the glass and put it back on the table

"It was a bad dream?" Hardison asked turning his attention back to Nate.

Nate nodded running his hand through his hair again. What did he say to these people? He didn't know them…well not in the way he was supposed to. He remembered them only as criminals whom he chased to get IYS property back. He felt uncomfortable with them here, with Parker staring at him intently her eyes full of concern and tinged with sadness and Hardison trying to make conversation.

"Where's Maggie?" Nate asked.

"I'm not sure, I think she went down to the cafeteria with Eliot." Parker said then cursed herself silently as she saw Nate frown at this information, of course he would not be happy with that, his wife, or ex-wife going to the cafeteria with a Hitter.

"I see…" Was all Nate said in response to her statement. The whole situation was awkward. It was as if they were strangers, with no connection to each other at all.

"How are you feeling?" Parker asked the silence becoming too uncomfortable.

"Fine…" Nate replied. What did he say to her? He felt like shit. His head hurt, his heart hurt…all he could think about was that his son was dead. He could not close his eyes without seeing images. Was that a good thing he wondered? Before Maggie had spoken to him he did not recall any of it. Now he could see it, see his son in the hospital with the doctors trying to save him. Did that mean that the memories of these two people, and Eliot and…and Sophie would return too?

"Nate…"

"Look Parker I don't remember ok. I know Maggie told me about us…about our…our family but…but I don't remember any of it. I don't feel…I just don't feel anything." He said flatly.

"But you will…" Parker said in a small voice. "I told you I would remind you, every day until you did…I told you that before the operation…"

"Parker…"

"No Nate…you will remember. You are…you are family and you will remember." Parker said adamantly.

"Well maybe I don't want to remember." Nate said his eyes boring into the little Thief. "Did you ever think of that Parker? Maybe it is better if I DON'T remember…not any of it." Nate said closing his eyes to shut out the look on her face as he spoke. He did not want to remember…he did not want to remember his son dying. He did not want to remember that and that was all he could think about. Why had Maggie told him…why?

"But you have to…" Parker said softly as she stared at the man who was more than a father to her, meant more than any person in her life ever had, including Hardison. He could not mean that, he could not mean that he did not want to remember them, the way they were. Surely he wanted his family back?

Nate did not respond. He remained still, lying back on the bed with his eyes closed, trying to shut out the look of anguish on her face as she had looked at him. He did not want to hurt her. He may not remember how it was between them, all of them, but that did not mean he wanted to hurt them. He just wanted to forget everything and if that meant forgetting them, or at least not remembering them, then so be it. He wanted to shut out the pain of losing his son. He wanted a drink. Maggie had said he had started drinking. He had become an alcoholic…well now he could understand why. He would do anything not to feel this terrible pain inside of him as he thought about his son. He wanted to block it out, make it disappear just like his memory.

"Nate…" Sophie's voice drifted across from the door. She had stood listening to the conversation and felt that now was the time to intervene, before Parker said something and Nate reacted to it.

Nate's eyes flew open at her voice. He stared at the woman standing in the doorway looking at him. Sophie Devereaux. She always had been able to take his breath away and this was no exception. She looked drawn and weary but still as beautiful as he remembered her.

"Parker, Hardison would you give me and Nate a moment please?" She asked as she entered the room and made her way to stand at the foot of Nate's bed. She did not take her eyes off of him as she spoke.

"Sure…" Hardison said taking Parker's hand and pulling her towards the door.

"Close the door please." Sophie asked still not taking her eyes of Nate.

Hardison nodded and then closed the door behind them leaving the Grifter and the Mastermind alone. Then both of them rushed over to the waiting couches to follow what was happening in the room via the camera's Hardison had installed. They were joined a few minutes later by Maggie and Eliot.

"How long has she been in there?" Eliot said watching the image of Sophie standing at the foot of the bed and Nate lying in it, both of them staring intently at the other without uttering a word.

"Only a few minutes…but they haven't said anything yet, they are just…just staring." Hardison said.

"Maybe we should give them some privacy." Maggie said softly. She for one did not want to watch this. This was a personal, intimate moment between husband and wife, even if he did not remember being her husband.

"Yeah…" Eliot agreed.

"Ok…" Hardison said reluctantly as he closed the laptop.

Parker scooted along the couch and lay resting her head on his shoulder. Eliot and Maggie sat down opposite them and silence filled the room. Eliot wondered what was being said inside that room. If anybody was going to bring Nate back to them it was going to be Sophie. He just hoped she could do it, for all their sakes.

**Thank you all again so very much for the reviews. Sorry about the mini cliff hanger… So how do you think the meeting between Sophie and Nate is going to go? I look forward to reading your reviews of this chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Sophie and Nate stared at each other for a few minutes before either one spoke.

"So we are…married?" Nate asked softly. He was not sure what he was afraid of more, that she said yes or that she said no.

"We are." Sophie replied.

"How long…?" Nate asked hesitantly.

"Nine months now…"

"I don't…I don't remember." Nate said almost apologetically.

"I know, and that is ok." Sophie said softly. "It will come back to you."

"What if it doesn't?"

"Then we will deal with that."

Silence fell again. Sophie remained standing at the foot of the bed. She did not make a move to go to his side, or to touch him. She did not want to make this any more uncomfortable for him that it obviously already was.

"You've started to remember…?"

"Only…only about…"

"Sam?"

Nate nodded then looked up into her eyes and she could read the pain in his. She steeled herself against the rush of emotions that welled in her. The need to comfort him, to hold him and never let him go, instead she just stood and waited for him to continue.

"I see him…I see…I can see him die…" Nate stuttered and tears welled in his blue eyes as he averted them from her trying to hide his pain from her.

"You don't want to remember…" Sophie said her voice calm and steady.

Nate nodded his head without looking at her. To not remember Sam's death meant to not remember them.

"I understand." Sophie said and she did. The years he had spent drunk, trying to avoid those memories, and finally when he had come to terms with all of it, when he had been able to work through it, this happens. It was not fair, but it was happening, so she would help him through it as best she could.

"Do you?" Nate asked looking up at her again, and this time the look sent a shiver through her.

"Yes I do Nate…" She said trying to keep the fear of what he really meant out of her voice.

"I'm sorry." Nate said bowing his head slightly in shame. He knew he loved this woman. He had loved for a long time, long before Sam had become ill, long before he had died and long before his marriage had ended. He had never acted on those feelings, and he never would have. But he knew that his love for her was as real then as it was now.

"Nate. There is nothing to be sorry about. You don't want to remember Sam's death. I understand that, they understand that. But you will, weather you want to or not. You will remember, it has already started and it is going to hurt. So you have a choice. Either you can share that pain with me…with us, your family and get through it. Or you can do what you did all those years ago and hide away from it in a bottle. If you chose to do that, I can't stop you, nobody can. But you will be losing something very precious. You will be losing everything you built up over the last five years. You will be losing your family. You can't bring Sam back. But you can have us back. All of us…Parker, Hardison, Eliot…your family. It's your choice."

Nate did not answer her. He did not look at her. She was right. It was his choice. But he had never been good at facing emotional things, and the pain he was feeling was almost too much for him to bear. It was more than he wanted to bear. He just wanted it to disappear and if that meant they had to disappear with it…

"Look at me Nate." Sophie said softly.

Nate raised his head brining up his blue eyes that shone brightly with unshed tears to meet her chocolate brown ones.

"I love you. They love you. We will be here for you no matter what. But we can't stop you from doing whatever it is you think you need to do. We never have been able to do that. But we will be here for you always. Just know that."

"I…I just want this pain to stop…I want him back Sophie…I just want him back."

"I know…" Sophie said unable to keep the tears from her own eyes as she watched his face contort with the emotional pain he was going through.

She could not help herself then. She rounded the bed and moved to his side. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around him, fully expecting him to spurn her at that moment, but he didn't. He grabbed onto her and clung to her as if she were his only lifeline and he was a drowning man. His body shook as he silently wept for a long dead son. She pulled him close and ran her hand through his hair not saying anything, just allowing him to cry.

"I love you Nate. I can't bring him back. I can't take these feelings away from you, but I will be here for you. You lived through this once and you can do it again. We will all help you…you just need to let us." Sophie whispered to him.

She held him then, rocking him gently in her arms. She knew this was a start, but there was a long way to go. Nate had loved Maggie, loved her very much, but in the end the pain and anguish of Sam's death had driven him from her. He had not been able to cope with the misery and the sorrow and had turned to the bottle for solace. True Maggie had been going through the same pain as Nate then, Sam was her son too, she could not help herself then, let alone be strong for Nate. Sophie only hoped that there would be a better ending to this story. She was sure that between them, Eliot, Parker, Hardison and herself they could help Nate through this, he just had to allow them to do that.

They sat like that for what seemed like hours until Nate had stopped sobbing. Then he gently pushed himself away from her and lay back on the bed closing his eyes.

"I don't remember them. When Parker was in here with Hardison…I just…I don't remember any feelings of friendship…family… I just don't." He said opening his eyes and looking at her. "When I looked at her, at them, all I saw were two thieves whom I had chased."

"I know, but memories will come back." Sophie said then smiled at him as he opened his mouth to speak again. "If they don't…then I don't know Nate. There are no hard and fast answers. What I do know is that those three people out there would move the world for you, don't you think you owe it to them to at least give them a chance?"

"I don't know if it will ever be the same again. That bond you and Maggie seem to think is so strong." Nate sighed heavily. "I…I just don't know Sophie." Nate said then looked at her seriously again. "I also…I know…I just…" He stuttered unable to get his thoughts together enough to voice them to her.

"Nate…?" Sophie said her heart suddenly clenching. Had she read this wrong, his allowing her to comfort him.

"Sophie…you know I have always had feelings for you. You know that. I just don't remember…I can't believe that we…that I…"

"That we are married?"

"Amongst other things…" Nate said blushing slightly. "It's just that…I don't know Sophie, it FEELS right but…but wrong at the same time…" Nate saw the look in her eyes and smiled sadly. "I know I am making no sense…"

"No…no. You are making complete sense…for the Nate of old." Sophie said. "You have to remember who you became Nate, you are not nearly the same man as you are remembering. So much happened in your life, in our lives…we went through so much."

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry you have to go through this…" Nate said softly.

"No…no Nate don't say that. I want to go through this…" Sophie shook her head then and smiled. "I mean I want to be here with you. I want to help you. We knew it would be hard, but it could have been worse. The tumor could have caused a lot more damage than just your memory Nate. Don't ever say you are sorry about that again, not ever."

Sophie said it so emphatically that Nate had to wonder why. What had happened that she was adamant that she wanted to here with him, despite the circumstances? Had he guilted her into being here he thought, nobody would willingly go through this and if what she said was true and it could have been worse, then it must have been one hell of a guilt trip he had laid on her. And what about the others, although he did not remember their family relationship, he trusted it was true, and if it was what gave him the right to put them through any of this? He should never have involved them.

"What are you thinking Nate?" Sophie asked watching him closely.

Nate looked up at her and saw the concerned expression. He smiled at her and took her hand in his.

"Nothing…I'm just tired." He said trying to allay her fears. He was a bastard he thought…to do this to her, he had no right.

"Ok, well do you want me to leave?" She asked hoping he would say no but knowing that was not going to happen.

"If you don't mind…I just need some time…I…"

"It's ok Nate." Sophie said leaning in and kissing him on his forehead. "You take as much time as you need. We will be around when you need us." She said then turned to leave the room.

"Sophie…"

"Shhh…" Sophie said as she opened the door. "Just know we are here." Then she walked out leaving the door open and Nate staring after her.

She walked to the couches and sat down heavily.

"So how did that go?" Eliot asked.

"I'm not sure Eliot…I'm not sure." She said then seeing the angst on their faces started to tell them what had happened, what Nate had said and what her impression of the situation was.

**Will Nate let Sophie and the others help him deal with his returning memories of Sam or will he ultimately go back to drowning his pain? Will his love for Sophie and hers for him be enough to pull him through this, or will that ultimately make him leave them due to his sense of duty? Reviews are so very much appreciated.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The rest of the day passed quickly. Nate slept most of the time and for the rest he requested no visitors, informing them that he needed time to process everything. Although none of them liked it, they respected his wishes and did not enter his room. After dinner that night Sophie returned to Nate's room and popped her head in.

"I just came to say goodnight." She said as he looked up at her when she entered. "Can I come in?"

Nate nodded his consent and pushed himself up in the bed, turning off the television he had been watching.

"Anything interesting…?" She asked as she came to stand by his side.

"Just trying to catch up..." Nate said. "The world hasn't changed much." He said ruefully. He had been watching the news and it was still the same as when he remembered it, mostly bad.

"No it hasn't." Sophie smiled at him.

"The doctor was here earlier."

"Oh…what did he say?"

"Said I could go home day after tomorrow…They want to run some tests tomorrow but if everything checks out he'll discharge me then."

"Oh Nate that's wonderful…" Sophie said happily, he was getting better, there were no further complications and he was going to get to go home, this was fantastic news to her.

"Yeah…"

"What's wrong…?" Sophie said immediately picking up in his tone that he was not as delighted as she was at the news.

"Nothing."

"Nate, you may not remember it but we have been together long enough for me to know there is something wrong. We are married you know." Sophie said softly. "Besides I could always read you."

"Really…Nothing is wrong…I just." He paused and she waited. "I just don't know where home is anymore." He said quietly.

"Oh…" Sophie said slightly taken aback.

"I know we are…married, but I don't…I don't remember and I don't…"

"Don't what? Your home is with me Nate, whether you know it or not." Sophie said. She realised this was not just about where he was going to stay but the other implications that went with that. "Now, we don't have to share a bed…" She noticed the slight blush and the averted eyes and smiled inwardly, Nate was such a Jesuit sometimes. "There is more than one room in the house and you can use the spare room."

"Sophie…"

"No arguments Nate. You may be able to go home, but I am sure that driving and a lot of other stuff will be out of the question at least for a while. You are my husband and I will take care of you…I want to take care of you, please let me do that Nate…"

"I should never have put you in this position." Nate said his voice full of regret and self-recrimination.

"Oh believe me you tried to be a martyr." Sophie said then seeing the questioning look in his eyes she continued. "You tried to hide all of this from us. From me... You tried to push me away and to stop me from even knowing you were going through this." She said.

"I wasn't very successful…" Nate said softly.

"No you weren't and do you know why?" Sophie said and before he could respond she continued. "Because I LOVE YOU Nate and wherever you go, no matter where or for what reason, I will find you. Now I know you can't remember Parker and Hardison and Eliot…but they will track you down no matter how far you try to run. You know them, you know their reputations. Believe me… they are as good as you knew they were even then. They are even better now, with your influence. You are part of their family and as I said before, they will move heaven and earth to make sure you are safe."

"How are they?" Nate asked unexpectedly.

"Worried…" Sophie responded. Although surprised, she was happy he was now at least asking about them. "They are scared they are losing you."

"I haven't seen Eliot. I mean Parker and Hardison have been in here but…Is it because of what I said before, believing he had…had done something to…to Sam and Maggie?" He asked his voice faltering ever so slightly when saying his son's name. What he had accused Eliot of was terrible, especially in the light of what he had been told subsequently of their current relationship.

"No…no he knows you did not mean…well you did mean it but you were not thinking straight, you remember him as what he was, not as what he has become, a good man, and that thanks to you." Sophie said.

"Tell him…tell him I am sorry." Nate said softly. Although he could not remember anything, that did not change it. He had no right to accuse him and it probably did hurt him, no matter what Sophie said, and if these people were his family now, and he believed that they were, then the last thing he wanted to do was hurt them. They had obviously cared enough to stay with him through this disaster. The doctor had explained to him what other complications there could have been and he had cringed at the thought. Any of the myriad of possibilities would have been hard to bear, but harder for whoever was left holding the bag as it were, having to take care of a virtual invalid.

"I will…" Sophie said placing her hand on his. He did not try to retract his hand and for that she was grateful. "You know the doctor said it would be easier for you to regain your memories if you talk about the missing years. I know they would love to talk to you and maybe it would be good for all of us."

"Memories…" Nate said softly. The only vivid memory he had he wished he did not have. Maybe getting some others to cover that one would not be a bad thing. Sophie was right before. He was going to remember Sam…he could not get the images out of his head, the horrible images of him standing in a hospital watching as his son died. He shivered slightly at the memory.

"Sam…?" Sophie said seeing his expression change and his eyes turn glassy with tears.

"It's…it's the only thing I…" Nate looked up at her his eyes sad and full of unshed tears. "It's the only memory that keeps coming back to me…Seeing him lying there with the doctors and then…and then…then he dies."

"Oh Nate…I am so sorry." Sophie said now taking his hand in hers and feeling him squeeze hers in response. "I know it's hard. I know that…but I am here for you, if you will let me help you." She said now feeling the tears prick her eyes too.

"I don't know how you can…?" Nate said softly. How could she. Unless she was going to take those images away…Unless she was going to magically make his son appear, then how did she think she could help him.

"I can't take the memories away Nate. They are what makes you you. The Nate I know…not the one I fell in love with because I fell in love with you I think from the moment we met…but the Nate I married, the one that wanted to marry me. What happened to Sam was terrible…it was horrible it was tragic and I wish to God it had never happened but it did. That is what brought us together. All of us, your family…You rebuilt yourself Nate, into a wonderful, caring man who helped people, people who could not help themselves. When Sam died most of you did too, and what didn't you tried to drown in a bottle, but in the end you survived. You changed the lives of four people, a Grifter, a Thief, a Hitter and a Hacker…you made us into the 'good guys'…together we made a family that is stronger than any formed by blood. I don't want to lose that Nate. They don't want to lose that. Sam is gone and he is not coming back. The memories of that are hurting you. But you need to remember the good along with the bad…you need to allow the good memories to overshadow the bad so that you can think about your little boy without only feeling pain, but feeling happiness too." Sophie paused then and squeezed Nate's hand gently. "That was where you were Nate. You could remember Sam with fondness and not just pain. Now…now…"

"Shhhh…Sophie…" Nate said as he saw the tears start to fall from her eyes. "I'll try Sophie…I…I'll try." Nate said soothingly. He hated to see her cry, it broke his heart to watch the tears fall and know he was the cause of them. He would try. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying.

"Oh Nate…I'm sorry…I just…I can't lose you Nate, not now." Sophie said wiping away the tears with her free hand.

"I understand."

"I love you Nate."

"And I love you Sophie…" He said and then stopped abruptly realising what he had just said, but he knew it was true, he did love her. He maybe could not remember them being married but the feelings inside him were there, he loved this woman.

Sophie smiled at his words and squeezed his hand. She could see on his face that he was as surprised as she was by his words. They were instinctual. "Ok…well I will leave you to get some rest then. Tomorrow is a big day for you, what with tests and everything."

"Thank you Sophie…for everything." Nate said smiling at her.

Sophie leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips. He did not respond but he also did not pull away. She smiled into the kiss.

"Sleep well Nate."

"You too..." Nate replied as she walked to the door.

"I'll see you in the morning."

"Yes you will…" Nate said softly. He had planned to leave them, leave the hospital and them. But now, after their talk he was not going anywhere. Even if he did try to leave, Sophie had made it plain that they would find him. He did not doubt that they would. Eliot was a retrieval specialist and Hardison the best Hacker around. No he would stay, and maybe, just maybe, he would be able to get back what he had so obviously lost.

**Hope you enjoyed…thank you for all the reviews, please keep them coming. So do you think Nate will get his memory back or do you think in the end Sam's memory will drive him back to the bottle? **


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

The next day passed quite quickly with Nate being subjected to one test after the other. Finally the doctor declared that he was happy with Nate's progress and he would be discharged from the hospital the following morning. Eliot, Hardison and Parker had gone to Nate and Sophie's place to make sure that everything would be ready for his return. Sophie had told them about her conversation with him the previous evening and that he had agreed to return to their home. Eliot made sure the kitchen was stocked, while Hardison checked security, more so that they could keep an eye on Nate and Parker went through the house looking for liquor bottles and removing them.

"So Nate, I think it is time for me to go home. I need to get back to work and you are going to alright now." Maggie was saying as she stood beside his bed.

Nate looked up at the woman and smiled at her.

"Thank you Maggie." He said simply.

"Don't mention it. But Nate you have to promise me that you will let Sophie and the others take care of you ok?" She said taking his hand in hers.

"I will…" He said softly.

"Good." Maggie smiled at him. "So…take care Nate." Maggie said then turned to Sophie. "If he gives you any trouble…"

"He won't." She said emphatically.

"If he does…just hit him over the head and tell him he is being an idiot."

"Hey I am right here in the room you know…" Nate said listening to Maggie speak.

"I know…that was the point." Maggie said smiling at him.

"I'll walk you out." Sophie said then turned to Nate. "I'll be back in a while…" She leaned in and kissed him gently on the forehead. "Don't go anywhere." Then she and Maggie left the room and headed towards the exit.

"It's going to be hard you know. If he starts drinking again…" Maggie said as they walked towards the exit.

"I know Maggie, but we will take one day at a time. He is willing to at least try and that is a start."

"Yes it is, and I have no doubt that the four of you can make him see sense." Maggie said as they reached the door and Maggie saw her cab waiting for her.

"I mean it Sophie…you remember to take care of yourself too." Maggie said.

"I will, I promise." Sophie said hugging the blonde woman. "I'll let you know of any developments."

"You do that." Maggie said as she climbed into the car.

"Goodbye…" Sophie said waving as the taxi pulled away. Then she turned and headed back into the hospital.

The rest of the evening passed without event. Hardison and Parker had cleared out their little reserved room at the hospital and then retired to their home. Sophie had gone to Eliot's place to collect her belonging and then home to make sure everything was ready for Nate's return. Eliot remained at the hospital. Of all of them he had not spoken to Nate yet. He had been in to see the Mastermind but always only when he was sure the man was sleeping. He did not know what to say to Nate and he knew Nate was feeling bad about what he had said and thought when he had first woken up. Eliot thought it had been best for him just to stay away. He stood just outside Nate's room door debating with himself if he should go in. Nate was going home tomorrow and Eliot thought he should at least speak to the man before that. He was still standing there when Nate's voice drifted out to him.

"Are you going to stand there all night or are you coming in?"

Eliot smiled to himself. Then drawing in a deep breath he entered the room and came to stand at the foot of Nate's bed. An awkward silence ensued as each man just stared at each other.

"You look better." Eliot said. He did, better than when he had last seen him anyway.

"Yeah…I feel better. Headaches are gone."

"That's something."

"Eliot…I am sorry, about what I said, the way I…" Nate said his shame clear in his voice.

"It's ok. I know what I am…what I was. You only remembered that and that's ok, we're passed that now."

Another silence ensued as each man contemplated the other. Nate did look better, although he was a little thinner and looked a bit sleep deprived. Eliot knew from his observations that Nate was not sleeping well. He knew the Mastermind was having terrible nightmares about his son and slept restlessly at best, and that was when he slept.

"You didn't come in to see me."

"I thought it best."

Silence again. Nate did not know what to say and Eliot remained silent waiting for Nate to take the lead.

"Where are the others?"

"Sophie's gone home to get some sleep…Hardison and Parker have done the same."

Shouldn't you also be getting some rest?"

"I only sleep ninety minutes a day…I'm good."

"Ninety minutes?" Nate said raising an eyebrow.

"It keeps the nightmares away." Eliot said honestly.

"You should teach me that trick."

"How bad is it?" Eliot asked although he knew it was bad. He had been watching Nate.

"Bad. I can't…I can't close my eyes without seeing…seeing him."

"You remember nothing else…that is the only memory that has come back?"

"Yeah..."

"What do you remember?" Eliot asked softly. Nate just looked at him, was he really asking him to tell him what he was remembering, talk about it out loud?

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember him getting sick? Do you remember taking him to the hospital? Do you remember him getting treatments…? What exactly do you remember?"

"I remember him dying." Nate said tears welling in his eyes as the memory surfaced. "I see him die in front on me. I see myself holding his…holding him after…"

"Ok…ok, so it is just that snippet of a memory that replays over and over…" Eliot said feeling for the man. "That is hard man…"

Well at least he did not remember the whole IYS debacle and how he blamed himself for Sam's death. That was something, although those memories would also return. Eliot wished they wouldn't but if they didn't then the chances of him remembering other things were slim, so he had to, in order to remember them he was going to have to deal with all his memories, including those. How Nate was going to cope with them now he had no idea, he hoped that he would cope better than he had when it had happened. He hoped that they could stop him from going completely off the rails and help him deal with it. Eliot shook his head as he thought about that, it had taken them five years to get Nate to come to terms with what had happened and to be ready to move on with his life. Now that may all be lost. The only saving grace was that when he did remember all of that he would also remember them and everything that had happened between his son's death and the operation. Eliot hoped that that would be the case anyway. He hoped that the memories would come back in a flood, the good mixed with the bad, because if only the bad returned…that would be difficult, for all of them.

"So are you planning on staying here all night?" Nate asked breaking into Eliot's thoughts.

"Probably…"

"Well then you might as well pull up a chair…no use you sitting out there."

Eliot smiled and nodded. Then he pulled up a chair and took a seat beside Nate's bed. He sat there and a comfortable silence settled over them.

"Try to get some sleep Nate." Eliot said seeing the man was tired but was resisting the pull of sleep.

"I…I don't want to…"

"I know, but you need to." Eliot said. "Maybe we can get something from the doc to help you sleep?" Eliot was not sure if that was the best plan. Nate was an addict, it would not help anything if he swapped alcohol for drugs, but the man needed to sleep. "I'll go see if I can get the nurse."

"Ok" Nate said softly. He had asked for something but the doctor had been reluctant to give him anything. He was not sure how successful Eliot would be but he hoped he would get something for him. He was tired but every time he closed his eyes he saw images he did not want to. For some reason he felt a bond with the man he had chased, a killer, a Hitter, and yet he felt safe with him, he felt an inherent trust in him.

Eliot returned a few minutes later with the nurse in tow. He had got her to call the doctor and get a prescription for some sleeping pills. The doctor was reluctant, not for the same reasons as Eliot thought. He did not want to give Nate any more sedatives or sleeping pills because they acted on the brain, and although Nate was recovering well, he was being cautious. He explained it as the same as giving sleeping tablets to somebody with concussion, which was not generally a good idea. Eliot though explained that he was worried that Nate was not sleeping at all, and the doctor agreed. Eliot given the doctor the assurance that he would not leave Nate's side and that he would keep an eye on the man to make sure there were no adverse effects.

"Mr Ford. The doctor has prescribed a sleeping pill for you." She said handing him a plastic cup with two tablets in it.

Nate took the cup and the glass of water she held out to him and downed the tablets, then handed both back to her.

"Ok then, try to get some rest." She said as she helped Nate settle back in the bed. "Just ring the bell if you need anything else." The nurse said speaking to Eliot rather than Nate.

Eliot could see the pills were taking an effect as Nate's eyes began to droop despite himself. Nate smiled at the Hitter and whispered a 'thank you' to him before he succumbed to the effects of the pills.

Eliot watched as the pills took effect and Nate drifted off into sleep. Then he pushed the chair back against the wall making himself comfortable for his night vigil.

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. Please keep them coming they are greatly appreciated.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The following evening found the five members of Leverage seated around the large dinner table in the Ford's house. Eliot had cooked dinner for them and as they had so many times they were all having dinner together. They were filling Nate in on some of their adventures and the scene around the table was rather genial. Nate was quite amazed at some of the things they had pulled off over the years, he was starting to realise just how they good they were as a team, and just how close they were was a family.

After dinner they moved into the living room and continued to talk hoping to unlock some of Nate's memories. The evening passed quickly and by eleven Nate was showing signs of fatigue so Sophie decided that it was enough for one day and they would meet up again in the morning for breakfast. Sophie suggested that Nate go and get ready for bed while she saw the three of them out. Nate agreed and said is goodnights before retreating into the spare room that had been allocated to him.

"I can stay…" Eliot said as he stood with Sophie outside the house.

"It'll be fine Eliot…" Sophie assured him. She knew the Hitter was uncomfortable with leaving her and Nate alone. Not because there was any danger, but because he was afraid what the night would bring for Nate. The previous night Nate had slept well with the aid of the sleeping pills, but even so he had been restless and Eliot could tell that he was still plagued by the terrible dream of his son's death.

"Ok. But please Sophie just call ok…" Eliot said.

"I will…" Sophie said giving the Hitter a hug and whispering her 'thank you' to him.

Once all of them had left Sophie made her way back into the house. She closed the door and walked to the closed door of the room that Nate had decided he would stay in for the time being.

"Nate…" She called out as she stood outside the door not wanting to simply barge in. She needed to give Nate his space and though it was difficult for her she waited for him to invite her in.

"Yeah…" Nate's voice drifted out to her. "Just a minute…" He called.

She could hear him moving around the room and then the door opened and Nate stood dressed in the pyjamas she had laid out for him.

"I just wanted to say goodnight." She said softly.

"Goodnight…" Nate said clearly uncomfortable. He took a step forward and awkwardly pulled her into a hug. Sophie immediately wrapped her arms around him and he responded by pulling her in tighter to him.

"It's going to be alright Nate…" She said as her head rested on his shoulder and her eyes closed. "I'm just down the hall if you need anything."

Nate squeezed her tightly once more and then pulled away from her.

"Thank you Sophie…" He said earnestly. He knew this was hard for her. They were married after all and he was not prepared to share her…their bed…with her. His loss of memory of them together as man and wife was only a small part of the reason for that.

"Nate are you sure you are going to be ok…" Sophie asked anxiously. She knew that he was having nightmares and she was loath to leave him alone.

"Yes…besides, like you said you are just down the hall so…"

"Ok…well goodnight Nate…I'll see you in the morning." Sophie smiled at him taking his hand and squeezing it gently.

"Goodnight…" Nate said softly.

Once Sophie had disappeared into her room Nate turned and walked into the bathroom. He stood in front of the basin staring at his image in the mirror. He was afraid to go to sleep. The doctor had given him some mild sleeping tablets to help him sleep but he was afraid of the dreams that would come as soon as he did. He splashed some water over his face and then turned and entered the bedroom. He climbed into the bed pulling the covers over him. He lay staring at the ceiling for a long time before his eyes eventually closed and he drifted into sleep.

Sophie lay in her bed wondering how Nate was doing. She was tired but her concern for him kept her from falling asleep. About an hour after they had retired to be Sophie still lay wide awake. She decided that she would go and check on Nate, she knew she would not get to sleep until she was sure he was alright. She climbed out of bed and padded her way softly to his room. His door was closed and she listened at the door, but heard no movement. Quietly she opened the door and peered in. Nate was lying curled up in the bed and did not react to the door opening so she moved to his bedside and looked down at him. She stood there and watched him sleep for a few minutes and then turned and left. Going back to her room she climbed into bed and after a few minutes her exhaustion won and she drifted into sleep too.

It was around one in the morning when Nate woke. The dream was so real. The image of his dead son lying on the sterile hospital bed so real and so horrifying he took a few minutes to get his breathing and heart rate under control. He wiped his forehead and climbed out of bed stumbling into the bathroom. Splashing water onto his face he stared at himself in the mirror again. This is never going to end he thought to himself. He was never going to get that image out of his mind. He wiped the water off of his face and then returned into the bedroom. He stared at the bed contemplating trying to sleep again and then decided against it. He moved quietly to the door and opened it being as quiet as he could. He did not want to wake Sophie. He made his way out and then to the kitchen. He needed something to calm his nerves. He needed a drink. After searching the kitchen he realised that he was not going to find any liquor. He remembered that Sophie had told him he had turned to alcohol after Sam had died, that he had become an alcoholic. He supposed they had made sure that there was no liquor in the house when he came home. No temptation for him. Frustrated with not finding what he was looking for he returned to his room and grabbed his clothes, going into the bathroom. He emerged dressed and ready to go out. He made his way quietly to the door of Sophie's room and stood watching the woman lying in the bed. He moved to the side of the bed and looked down at her, making sure she was sleeping. Then he looked around the room until he located the keys to the car which she had put on the bedside table. He took them and then stopped and stared at the sleeping woman again.

"I'm sorry…" He whispered wanting to reach out and run his hand through her hair, but he did not want to wake her.

Retreating out of the room he made his way out of the house silently locking the door behind him. This was not LA or Boston but he was sure he would be able to find an open bar somewhere…or at least a store he could buy some liquor. He needed something and his instinct was to get himself some whiskey. He walked up to the car and opened the door but before he could get in a voice startled him.

"Going somewhere?"

Nate started and turned swiftly to face the person who had spoken.

"God Eliot you scared the life out of me." Nate hissed seeing the Hitter standing behind him.

Eliot did not say anything he simply raised his eyebrows asking the question again silently.

"I just need some air is all." Nate said softly.

"You need some whiskey…" Eliot said. He knew Nate was going to look for alcohol…he was an alcoholic and you did not need to remember that for your body to tell you what it craved.

"What if I do?" Nate asked defiantly.

"You think that's a good idea do you?"

"I don't want to argue about this Eliot. This is my life, despite what all of you think, and if I want to have a drink I will."

"Nate…you are an alcoholic…you won't stop at one drink."

"I am not going to argue with you about this Eliot." Nate said. He was not going to engage in this conversation. He was a grown man and despite what they thought he did not need their permission to do what he wanted…no needed to do.

"Fine…" Eliot said. "But you ain't going to some bar." He said.

"Eliot…"

"No Nate…you want to drink, I can't stop you. I won't try and stop you. But you do it here, at home, not in some bar somewhere." Eliot said taking the wind out of Nate's sails with his words. The Mastermind had been prepared for a fight, not for Eliot to agree to what he wanted to do.

"There is no whiskey in the house." Nate said turning back towards the car, he did not want to drink here. Not with Sophie here to look at him is disapproving eyes. He did not want to see that disappointment in her eyes.

"I brought some." Eliot said pulling out a bottle of Nate's favourite brand.

"You what…?" Nate said truly surprised.

"Nate. I know you." Eliot said simply. "Now why don't we go back inside?" He said shutting the car door and holding out his hand to Nate for the keys to the car.

Nate stared at the Hitter then grudgingly handed Eliot the keys. Eliot closed and locked the car and then he and Nate walked back into the house. It was still quiet and dark. Sophie had not woken. Eliot walked into the kitchen and came back with two glasses. He sat down at the table and poured two glasses of the amber liquid. Nate stood and watched him and then took a seat lifting the glass and holding it to his lips. Then he closed his eyes and took the first sip.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you all for taking the time to review, I really appreciate each and every one. I will try to post again soon.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Eliot sipped his whiskey slowly as he watched Nate down his first three glasses and then pour himself a fourth before sitting back in his chair and relaxing slightly.

"Why exactly where you lurking around outside at one in the morning…?" Nate asked the Hitter, and although he had only had a few glasses of whiskey his words slurred slightly.

"I know you." Eliot replied simply.

"And what does that mean…?"

"It means when you can't handle something your drug of choice is alcohol. Especially when it comes to your son...I knew Parker had removed all of it from the house so…"

"So naturally I would go looking for some at one am."

"Well I didn't have an exact time but yeah…" Then Eliot smiled at him slyly. "Besides you already established a while ago that I was a lurker…"

"You said it not me…" Nate replied instantly then stopped and stared at the Hitter. "You said it…we were in a bar…" Nate bent his head and closed his eyes trying to draw out the memory. "Hardison was there…"

"Yeah…that's right. You had just finished meeting a potential client..." Eliot said unable to hide his excitement that Nate was remembering something, something other than the events surrounding his son's death. Something trivial even, insignificant really.

"You weren't supposed to be at the meeting." Nate said looking up at the Hitter his eyes glinting slightly at the memory.

"That's right." Eliot said lifting his glass in salute and taking a sip as he smiled at the Mastermind.

Nate smiled back and leaned back in his chair again even more relaxed than before. Partly due to the alcohol intake and partly due to the relief he felt at having remembered something from the missing years. Something directly connected to his life as part of this family of thieves.

"What was the job?"

"Manticor…it was about a computer programme that monitored people in Iran when they used skype, or any internet site and then hunted them down…"

"Did it turn out alright?"

"Yeah…we destroyed Manticor and the client got to talk to his family back in Iran. It turned out fine." Eliot said. The fact that that job had led to a whole lot of complications later that eventually led them to taking down Damien Moreau was not something he thought he would go into just then.

"Good." Nate said as he finished his fourth glass and put it down on the table. He made no move to reach for the now half empty bottle.

"Tell me about the job…everything about it." Nate said as he pushed the glass away from him.

Eliot looked at the Mastermind and nodded. "First let's get some coffee." Eliot said getting up and moving into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes with steaming cups of coffee for both of them and then took his seat.

"Let see…" Eliot began and then recounted the entire story to Nate, from his first meeting with the client all the way through to its conclusion with him and Sophie dancing as King and Queen of the prom. Nate did not interrupt once he just sat and listened as Eliot related the story.

"King and Queen…"

"Yeah, that was a while before you two officially became a couple…you were still dancing around each other." Eliot told him with a smile hovering over his lips.

"We did that very well…" Nate said smiling to himself as he remembered their various meetings over the years.

"Yes you did. It took you a long time to get your act together." Eliot said his eyes flitting to the figure standing in the passageway behind Nate listening to their conversation. He knew Sophie had been standing there since about half way through his story. She made no move to interrupt or to join them.

"You want another coffee?" Eliot asked.

Nate looked at him and then cast his eyes briefly to the bottle still standing between them on the table. He was tired. He wanted to sleep, but he was not sure that he could face more nightmares. The last couple of hours sitting here with the Hitter he had forgotten the pain that was constantly with him since he had found out about the death of his son. But he could not sit here forever.

"You don't need it." Eliot said following Nate's eyes.

Nate did not respond. He just sat there and contemplated drinking the rest of the bottle and then passing out.

"So what have you boys been up to at all hours of the morning?" Sophie said softly startling the Mastermind as she came up behind him.

"God Sophie…between you and Eliot I won't have to drink myself to death…you'll scare me to death."

"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you." Sophie said sweetly.

"Well…" Nate said clearing his voice and sitting up a little straighter as she rounded him and came to sit next to him at the table. "Next time give a guy some warning…"

Sophie smiled at him and then looked at the bottle on the table. It was as it was taunting all of them. She looked up at Eliot with a question. How did Nate get hold of liquor anyway? She knew Parker had disposed of the few bottles that still remained in their house. Eliot tilted his head to one side and stared back at her. He would rather have Nate here drinking safely in his own home. Sophie gave an almost imperceptible smile in recognition of what he had done, and approval, then she turned back to Nate.

"So may I join this party or is it boys only…" She asked cheekily.

Nate squirmed slightly in his chair and tried to not look at her. Her being there put a damper on his plan to just take the rest of the bottle and return to his room.

"Nate had a breakthrough…" Eliot told her and Sophie raised her eyebrow looking at Nate.

"I remembered something about Eliot." He said after clearing his throat.

"Oh…what…?"

"He remembered I'm a 'lurker'…"

"Oh…." Sophie said smiling at him.

"You said something about coffee…?"

"Yeah…I was just about to make Nate and myself another cup. You want some?"

"Tea would be lovely thank you." Sophie said. Eliot nodded and left the two of them alone at the table.

"So how are you feeling…?" Sophie asked turning back to Nate after watching Eliot leave to get their coffee and tea.

"Ok…" Nate said non-committedly.

"Did you get any sleep…?" She asked concern in her voice.

"Some."

Sophie reached out and placed her hand on his. He did not pull away but let her hand rest on his lightly. He looked up and into her eyes.

"It's going to be alright Nate. I promise it will. You have taken a step…you remembered something other than something connected to Sam." Sophie said seeing him flinch at the mention of his son's name. "It is going to take time but it will be alright."

Nate bent his head and cleared his throat again. He was decidedly uncomfortable, he did not want to talk about any of this. But he also liked having her here, he liked the feel of her hand on his.

"So, King and Queen of the prom…"

"Oh yes that." Sophie smiled. "You know you are a really good dancer."

"That's not what you said in Venice…" Nate said and then seeing the look on Sophie face and realising what he had just said he smiled. "Although you always liked the slow dance..."

"Only with you…'" Sophie said softly. "That was the last dance we had before…" Sophie stopped. He was recalling the last time they had seen each other before Sam got really ill and then died. Nate had left IYS and they had not seen each other until he had come back into her life in Chicago.

"Coffee…" Eliot said entering the room with Sophie's tea and Nate's coffee. He put the cups down and went back to the kitchen to get his own cup. When he returned, they were still sitting quietly. He could see from Sophie's face that something had happened and he could also tell that Nate had spiked his coffee. He noted that the bottle was not where it had been standing since they had started talking.

Nate sat with his head bent avoiding Sophie's gaze. Both of his hands were wrapped around the cup and he was sipping the hot liquid.

"Hey..." Hardison called out as he and Parker trouped through the door.

"Hey guys…" Sophie said happy to have a distraction.

Nate did not say anything he just nodded at the two as they sat down at the table. He kept his head bent and sipped his coffee. Parker stared at the bottle on the table and then looked at Sophie questioningly. Sophie shook her head slightly telling Parker not to say anything.

"We thought we would join you all for breakfast." Hardison said also looking at the bottle and frowning slightly.

"I…I ah think I'm just going to go get cleaned up." Nate said rising from his seat taking his coffee mug with him. He wanted to get away from the disappointment on the faces of the youngest members of the group. He could feel their concern and it made him uncomfortable.

"Ok…well breakfast will be ready when you get back." Sophie said watching him walk back to his room and close the door after entering. Then she let out a long breath she did not even realise she had been holding.

"What happened?" Eliot asked as soon as the door closed.

"He remembered something else…the last time we saw each other before…before he no longer worked for IYS." Sophie said sighing heavily and looking at the closed door. "I was so stupid I…It was a good memory and then I had to say…to remind him of when it was." Sophie said her voice heavy with self-recrimination.

"Sophie, he is going to remember, and he is going to remember soon. Once memories start returning, they generally come back fairly quickly."

"Good…then he will remember us." Parker said.

"Yes he will, but he is also going to remember everything to do with Sam's death." Eliot said meaningfully.

"Oh…" Parker said suddenly understanding. That is what had destroyed Nate the first time. "But we can help him through those too."

"Well the memories are returning that's for sure. There is nothing we can do except be here for him." Sophie said. "So let's keep everything as normal as possible. Eliot…breakfast..."

"Right..." Eliot said turning to the kitchen to get the breakfast going.

When Nate came out of his room the breakfast was ready and the table set. Nate looked at the scene. He was really not hungry. The alcohol he had consumed earlier had upset his stomach and he had a burgening headache that would just not go away. Watching the group chat and get things together he knew he could not disappoint them so he walked into the room and sat down at the table.

"Looks good…" He said as Eliot placed his plate in front of him.

The meal passed enjoyably enough with general chatter between the team keeping it lively. Nate said little, all he really wanted was to go back to his room and sleep. He knew he could not do that though, not without a lot more alcohol. He was not willing to face the memories that sleep brought. Once the meal was done he and Sophie retired to the living room while the younger crew cleaned up. Nate sat on the couch with Sophie and very soon he was sagging against the back of the couch, his eyes were heavy with sleep and although he tried to fight it, he could feel it pulling him under. He nodded off after a few minutes and Sophie pulled him onto her lap running her hand through his hair as he slept.

**Thanks for the reviews. Please keep them coming.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

The next few days passed without much incident. Nate did not indulge in alcohol; well at least he only had a snifter or two a day. He was slowly getting his memories back. Snippets returned to him which were fleshed out by one of the group. He started to remember their jobs, their lives. Along with the good came bad as well. He recalled his father and how he had died at the hands of a man who had intended to kill him, he recalled Sophie leaving them and what had happened on the Maltese Falcon. By the end of the week Nate had most if not all of his memory back and although the memory of what had really happened to his son and what had led to his death was painful, he got through it.

Nate and Sophie's relationship started to blossom again with him remembering more and more of their life together since that day in Chicago when he had brought her back into his life. After that day where he had fallen asleep on her lap in the living room he found sleeping with her in close proximity eased his dreams. He moved back into their room after that much to Sophie's delight. It was during one of those nights that Nate's memory of exactly what happened to his son came back. It was a testament to both of them and their love for each other and trust in each other that he was able to make it through that night without downing a bottle of liquor. Sophie helped him through it, holding him tightly and whispering that it was alright, allowing him to grieve and to rant and to rave about what IYS had done and what he had not. She filled him in on how he had eventually taken his revenge on Ian Blackpoole and IYS. It was a long hard night for both of them but they got through it and the next morning Nate was able to face the world without liquor.

Parker happily expounded to him the details of jobs where he only had a vague memory, or just a snippet of something that happened. Nate was never left alone and the more he talked the more he remembered. The more he remembered the more he realised that Maggie had been right, he loved these people, all of them, they were his family. He had lost Sam, but he had found another family, one he loved dearly.

Things were going well and had nearly returned to normal in the Ford household. The rest of the team had returned to work and they saw little of them after the initial weeks and soon a month had passed.

Nate and Sophie found themselves back at the hospital exactly a month after the operation for Nate's check-up to make sure that the tumour had not started to regrow or that there were no other residual problems. He and Sophie had spent the best part of the morning there whilst Nate was poked and prodded and sent for scans and x-rays. By eleven o'clock they found themselves sitting in the doctor's office anxiously waiting for him to make an appearance to give them the results of all the tests.

"Mr Ford…Mrs Ford…" The doctor said as he took a seat at his desk opposite them. Sophie tightened her grip on Nate's hand. Something was wrong, she could feel it, she could see it on the doctor's face.

"What is it?" Nate asked reading the doctor the same as his wife had and seeing that there was obviously a problem.

The doctor looked up at them from the report he had been reading and saw the angst on both their faces.

"Mr Ford…I am afraid that there is a problem."

"What problem." Nate asked his gut churning over as he listened to the doctors words.

"I am afraid that either we missed a section of the tumour that we could not see due to the swelling of the brain, or it has regrown. Either way I am afraid that we have a problem and will have to schedule another procedure."

Nate was stunned. He just stared at the doctor in disbelieve. After everything, after he had got through everything. He looked over at Sophie and saw the dread that was etched on her face. He swallowed hard then cast his eyes back to the doctor.

"When…?"

"As soon as possible…I can schedule you in for tomorrow morning."

"What are the…what are the possible…"

"Possible complications…?" The doctor finished for him. "I am not going to lie to you Mr Ford, the risks are the same as the first operation, however this tumour is very small in comparison and the risks are comparatively lower." He rose from his desk and approached a screen on the back of his wall. Switching it on it displayed Nate's x-rays. "As you can see, the tumour is located in a similar position to the first one. It is as I said a lot smaller so the risks are substantially lower, the chances of any severe side effects such as the memory loss you experienced are limited. Mr Ford I know this is not what we had hoped for, but we have to perform the surgery now, before the tumour gets any larger."

Neither Nate nor Sophie said anything after the doctors' revelations. Nate was contemplating just running away and never looking back. Let the tumour take its course and be damned. He did not want to go through what he just had. He could not relive those memories again, he did not want to no matter what the cost for not having the surgery was.

Sophie sat frozen to her chair. Her fear was not for going through everything they just had again, her fear was that Nate would not want to. That he would give up the fight and just run away. She knew this last month had taken a lot out of him. How could life be so damn unfair to the man? What the hell had he done to deserve this she thought bitterly. She looked at Nate and could see his mind working, she could see he was contemplating what not having the operation would mean and that scared her even more.

"Ok, so I will get my nurse to give you the consent forms and information for preparation for the surgery, then I will see you at five am tomorrow." He said looking at his patient.

"We'll be here." Sophie said taking Nate's hand and clinging onto it for dear life.

"Good." The doctor said standing up to see them out.

"Nate…" Sophie said as the Mastermind made no move to stand.

"What if I decided not to have any further surgery?"

"That is not an option Mr Ford." The doctor said looking at his patient.

"Make it an option."

"I can't say for sure. The tumour will in all probability grow and eventually kill you." He said shortly.

"How long would that take?"

"Mr Ford…there is no need to not have the surgery, as I said this will not be nearly as risky as the first one and the chances are that there will be no repercussions from the surgery at all."

"Right…" Nate said the sarcasm dripping from him voice. "How long…?"

"That would depend on the growth of the tumour. But Nate as I said…"

"I heard you." Nate said standing up from his seat. "I need some time to think about this."

"We really should do the surgery as soon as possible."

"Yeah…I heard that too. I will let you know what I decide." Nate said then turned and walked out of the consultation room leaving a stunned Sophie and a fairly perplexed doctor staring after him.

"He does understand that the tumour will kill him?" The doctor asked the woman who remained standing staring after the disappearing figure of Nate.

"He'll be here tomorrow morning…" Sophie said turning to the doctor. "Where are the forms and instructions I will need?"

"Mrs Ford…"

"He'll be here…" Sophie said adamantly. If she had to get Eliot to carry him in here she would, he was going to have the operation and that was all there was too it.

"Alright Mrs Ford. I will prepare everything for tomorrow then." The doctor said. Looking at the woman he decided that if she said something was going to happen she would move heaven and earth to make it so. "My nurse has the papers." He said then smiled at her. "Good luck."

Sophie did not answer him she simply exited the room and grabbed the papers on the way out from the nurse. She moved swiftly towards the door of the building pulling out her mobile as she walked. Nate could not have gotten far. She was pretty sure he would head to the closest and most convenient bar. She exited the building stepping out into the bright summer sunshine. Then she stopped in her tracks and put her phone away. Nate was standing waiting for her outside.

"Thought I would run away?" Nate said holding the door of the car open for her.

"It seemed…after what you did in there…" Sophie stumbled over her words.

Sophie had no idea of what to make of Nate's actions, especially considering the way he had acted in the doctors' rooms. She looked at him for a minute then climbed into the car and Nate closed the door walking around to the drivers' side and getting in. They drove home in silence. Sophie had so many things floating in her head but decided that she would leave it for when they were home and Nate was not sitting behind the wheel of a car.

"Are you going to tell me what is going on in that head of yours?" Sophie asked as they entered the house and Nate closed the door behind them.

"You mean beside another tumour growing?"

"That's not funny Nate…" Sophie said her eyes narrowing. "You are having the surgery right…you were just in shock but now you know you have to right?" Sophie asked anxiously. The fact that he had not run away straight into a bar, the fact that he had not headed directly for the kitchen and a bottle of whiskey must indicate that.

"I don't know." Nate said softly. "I'm sorry Sophie but I just don't think I can go through that again. Losing my son twice is more two more times than I am willing to subject myself to." Nate said his voice flat and emotionless.

"But the doctor said the chances were that there would be no memory loss."

"The chances…Sophie the chances are that there will be. The chances are I am going to have to experience all of those memories again. I don't think you understand Sophie, it's like losing him all over again. I can't do that again…I just am not strong enough to do that again."

Sophie did not know what to say. How did she argue with that, how did she tell him that he had to take that chance, he had to maybe face it all again because she could not lose him.

"I know you are scared. I know you don't want to face it all again. I know I can never understand. But Nate, I love you, I…you can't just give up." Sophie said taking the emotion out of her voice.

"Sophie…"

"Ok…ok if that is what you want then I can't stop you." Sophie said. "But know this Nate, I love you. I love you no matter what. But you are expecting me to stand by and just let you allow yourself to die."

"I understand." Nate said flatly. She was going to leave him.

"No I don't think you do." Sophie said softly. "I will never leave you Nate. I will stand by you no matter what. But you have to know that this will kill me. Maybe not physically, but you are asking me to watch you die knowing that it could be prevented. You are asking me to be complicit in your death. Because I love you I will stay with you, until the very end, you can give me the same memories of you as you have of your son."

"Sophie you are not going to manipulate me into something. My mind is made up." Nate said at first shaken by her words and then telling himself she was just trying to guilt him into the surgery.

"I am not trying to manipulate you Nate." She said as she moved closer to him putting her arms around his neck and hugging him to her tightly. "I mean what I say. I love you enough to accept your decision. I love you Nathan Ford and I promised through sickness and in health. I promised to stay with you until death do us part. If you chose this road, then I will walk it with you." She said pulling back far enough that her face was right in front of him, her nose touching his. "I love you…" She whispered and then kissed him gently on the lips.

Nate did not respond to the kiss at first. He just stood there his arms hanging next to him as Sophie kissed him. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close kissing her back passionately. His fear and his emotions taking over as he clung to her like a lifeline. Sophie responded and they progressed from there. Hours later they lay on their bed with Sophie resting her head on his chest. Tears rolled down her cheeks silently as he ran his hand through her hair.

"Point made…" Nate whispered softly to her.

"I wasn't trying to make a point." Sophie replied. "Except maybe to show you how much I love you."

"Like I said, point made…" Nate said kissing her gently on the top of her head.

They lay like that for the rest of the afternoon, just holding on to each other. In the late afternoon Nate was about to get out of the bed and go and make them some food but Sophie caught him and pulled him back into her.

"Don't leave…" She said softly kissing him passionately.

"Sophie…" Nate said between kisses. "We need to get some food…"

"I'm not hungry…not for food anyway." Sophie said pulling him onto her.

Later Nate fell asleep wrapped in Sophie's arms. She lay awake and listened to him breath softly beside her tears flowing once again. Eventually she too fell asleep. The next morning she woke with a start to find Nate's side of the bed empty. She could hear the shower going and sat up in the bed looking at the clock on the bedside table. It was three thirty in the morning.

"Nate…" She called out as she heard the shower shut off.

"Be out in a minute." Nate called back. He emerged a few minutes later dressed in a track suite.

"What are you doing?" Sophie asked sitting up now fully awake.

"We have an appointment." Nate said simply.

Sophie took a minute to digest what he meant and then flew out of bed straight into him almost knocking him over. She kissed him and held him tightly against her.

"Oh Nate…" She said softly. "Thank you."

"I love you Sophie. I…I am scared but I know that I love you enough to…to maybe go through it again." He said. He had spent the better part of the early morning thinking about what she had said. What she meant to him. He realised that although he still did not want the surgery, she deserved so much more than he could give her, and if he had to face his worst nightmares again, she was worth that too.

Sophie kissed him again and then started getting ready. They had to be at the hospital by five so she moved with speed and determination.

They entered the hospital at four thirty and made their way to the ward where Nate would be admitted. Once all the papers were signed and the doctor had visited it was six thirty. Half an hour later Nate was wheeled into surgery. He held Sophie's hand until she could no longer walk with him.

"I love you Nate. I'll be right here when you wake up." She said as the door closed behind him.

Sophie immediately pulled her phone out of her bag and dialled Eliot's number. An hour later all three of them were with her in the waiting room. They sat in silence and waited for the doctor to come and talk to them. The hours passed by agonisingly slowly. Eventually the doctor came to talk to them.

"It went well. We got it all. He is still sedated. It will take a while for him to wake. We will only know if there are any memory losses or any other possible effects from the surgery when he wakes up." He told them. Then he said they would be called as soon as Nate was settled in his room.

They were fetched by the nurse a while later and then taken to Nate's room. He was still asleep having not come out of the anaesthetic completely yet. Sophie immediately went to his side and took his hand in hers. The others spread themselves around the room to wait for Nate to surface from his sedation. Tension filled the air as they all contemplated what would happen when he did finally wake up. Even though they all hoped that this time the surgery would have gone off without any problems or side effects, they had all prepared themselves if it had not. Eliot remembering what had happened the first time did not want to be in the room when Nate woke up but Sophie told him to stay. Whatever happened, they would face it this time together, from the beginning as a family.

**Thank you all for reading and taking the time to review. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It seems like Nate can just not catch a break. So what do you think will happen when he wakes up this time? Will the team have to face the worst again? Will Nate have his memory intact? Thanks again for reading.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Sophie sat beside Nate's bed wrapping his hand in hers, absentmindedly rubbing her thumb gently across the top of his hand. She wanted him to wake up but at the same time dreaded it.

"You ok?" Eliot asked coming to stand behind her. They had been sitting with Nate for almost two hours now with no sign of him waking. Parker and Hardison had gone to get them some coffee and they were alone in the room.

"Fine…" Sophie said.

Eliot did not question the lie. She was not fine. None of them were. All of them feared a repeat of the last month. Eliot looked down at the man in the bed. It seemed to him that Nate had had his fair share of bad luck, of pain and suffering, from his son to his dad, surely the man deserved a break.

Just then Nate started to stir. Immediately Sophie stood up and leaned over him squeezing his hand tightly.

"Nate…Nate darling open your eyes…" She said softly.

Nate's eyelids fluttered and then opened. His perfectly blue eyes stared up at Sophie. She smiled back down at him anxiously watching as he struggled to get his bearings.

"Sophie…" He managed to croak out as he looked up at her.

"Yes…yes my darling it's me." Sophie said happy he at least remembered her name. The question was did he remember what they were to each other, did he remember her as his wife, or as the woman he chased around Europe for IYS?

Nate closed his eyes again and then opened them wide as he stared at her. Then his eyes moved to fix on Eliot who stood behind her. For a brief horrible moment Eliot thought he had done it again, that Nate was going to go into a panic attack at the sight of him. Then he saw a smile spread across the Mastermind's lips, it was a strained smile but it was there.

"Eliot…" Nate said softly the effort of speaking was enormous. His head hurt and he was being pulled back into the darkness. He could feel Sophie's hand on his and the pressure she was exerting on it.

"Love you Soph…" He whispered a smiling up at her then he slipped back into unconsciousness.

"Oh thank God…" Sophie said unable to stop the sob escaping her.

"It's going to be alright…" Eliot smiled relief flooding over him. He lay his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. It really was going to be alright.

"Hey…" Hardison said as he and Parker walked in to find Sophie clinging to Nate's hand and her face wet with tears. Eliot was standing beside her resting his hand on her shoulder as if in comfort. "What's wrong…what's happened?" He asked anxiously.

"Nothing…Nothing is wrong Hardison…" Sophie said wiping away the tears with her free hand, she was not willing to let go of Nate just yet.

"Then why are you crying?" Parker asked looking first at Nate to make sure that he was alright then at Sophie.

"He woke up…" Sophie said.

"And he didn't remember…" Hardison finished for her, that must be the reason she was crying and Eliot was trying to support her.

"No Hardison…he did…" She said happily.

"He did…?"

"He did." Eliot confirmed.

Parker stood stock still for a minute and then turned and pulled Hardison into a hug smiling broadly.

"He's going to be alright, were going to be alright." Sophie said leaning in and kissing his forehead before sitting down again beside him.

Nate surfaced again a few hours later and this time managed to stay awake for a longer period. All of them talked to him reassuring themselves that he was truly alright. That his memory was intact and that he had no other serious effects from the surgery.

The following days Nate was fully awake and after numerous testing the doctor said that he could be discharged within the next two days. The three youngest members of the team drifted in and out of the hospital during the next two days but Sophie remained at Nate's side. They left the hospital together in on the morning of the third day.

One month later Nate and Sophie found themselves in the doctors' offices again. They sat holding hands waiting for the doctor to come in to let them know if Nate was now free and clear or if he was going to have to go through the grinder again. They heard the door open behind them but neither one turned around. They merely squeezed each other's hands and waited for the doctor to take his seat.

"Mr Ford…Mrs Ford…" The doctor said as he took his seat. "The results are good. There is no sign of any tumour and no damage to the surrounding brain tissue. I would say that you are free and clear."

"Thank you doctor…" Sophie said smiling broadly and squeezing Nate's hand tightly.

Nate let out a breath he had been holding and smiled at the doctor. "Thank you." He said simply.

"Well I hope you don't take this the wrong way Mr Ford, but I hope I don't see you again." The doctor said standing and holding his hand out to Nate.

"I hope so too doctor…" Nate said taking his hand and shaking it. Then he took Sophie's arm and led her out of the doctors' rooms and out of the hospital.

"Well…" A voice asked behind them as they exited the hospital.

"Parker, what are you doing here?" Sophie asked lightly turning around to see the blonde Thief, Eliot and Hardison standing watching them. She knew of course. After the last visit to the doctor they were all worried.

"You haven't answered the question." Hardison said, but he already knew the answer, he could see it on both of their faces.

"Free and clear." Nate said. "Now if you don't mind…my wife and I have some celebrating to do…" Nate said his eyes glinting with mirth.

"Oh no man…I didn't need to have that image…" Hardison said failing miserably in trying to appear shocked at the implication of Nate's words.

"Why don't we meet you all at the brewery tonight and we can have dinner together?" Sophie asked.

"Sounds great..." Eliot said.

"Ok then see you then." Nate said opening the car door and waiting for Sophie to climb in.

After he closed the door Nate turned back to them. "Thanks guys…" He said softly. "I appreciate…everything."

None of them answered him but Parker threw herself at him and hugged him tightly. Then she pulled away and smiled at him. Nate nodded his head at them and then walked around the car and climbed in.

"Home…?"

"Home." Nate affirmed. "Then Mrs Ford we are going to make some new plans for the future…"

"A long future…together." Sophie smiled at him hers eyes swimming in unshed happy tears.

"I love you Sophie Ford." Nate said softly. Sophie smiled at him and put her hand on his leg as he drove them home.

That night the five of them sat around the table at the brewery and just talked and laughed and celebrated the reuniting of their family, with no darks clouds hanging over them.

**Well that is the end of the story. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you to everybody who took the time to review each chapter, I really truly appreciate every single one. Sphinx, Stella, Carebear818, JustBecause2012, msj12991, KendraBC, farrago42, huttonfan, february28, and everybody else who favorited or followed the story, thank you so very much.**


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